Chasing Lights
by Torithy
Summary: Kozik and his old lady head for Charming in the wake of some time away from the club - but can their relationship survive being back in the SAMCRO world?
1. one

**A/N: So this is the latest installment in my Kozik series (which is made up of Casting Shadows, Sparks, Getaway, and now this) - hope you like it! Here's a quick reminder of the story so far - if you haven't read the other fics, this should be all you need to know.**

**Casting Shadows kicked off the series and introduced my OC, Tasha - she's Kozik's old lady and they've been together for almost four years, living in Tacoma. But they're going through a very bad patch as a couple and it emerges, through flashbacks, that they lost their unborn baby in an attack by enemies of the Sons. Tasha's been blaming the club and pushing Koz away but, when he's facing danger again, she realises she can't lose him.**

**Sparks (which isn't completed yet) came next in the series, but is actually set before Casting Shadows - it's the story of how Kozik met and got together with Tasha. Despite a few hurdles along the way, including the fact she's a teacher and not used to motorcycle club ways. It also introduces a few other OCs, including Elena Martinez who is a friend and colleague of Tasha's and Julie Lewis, a croweater with two weaknesses - drugs and Kozik.**

**Getaway picked up where Casting Shadows left off. Kozik and Tasha take a break from everything, to go stay at a secluded cabin belonging to the Tacoma president and try to get their relationship back on track. And, on the brink of losing the girl he loves, Koz even considers quitting the club.**

**Now Chasing Lights sees Kozik and Tasha head for Charming in the wake of Half Sack's murder and Abel's kidnap. But have they fixed their relationship enough for it to survive back in the SAMCRO world? One way to find out ...**

* * *

**one.**

Slipping off the back of her boyfriend's bike, Tasha watched in concern as a car peeled out of the Teller-Morrow lot at speed and then turned back towards the clubhouse just in time to witness a deft slap dealt from one CaraCara girl to another.

Fresh from their getaway, it seemed like little had changed in their absence. Same drama around every corner.

"Was that Tara who took off?" she asked an equally puzzled looking Kozik. "And why's Lyla slapping the shit outta Ima? Apart from the obvious ..."

"No clue, babe," he shrugged, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "C'mon – let's go find out what the hell we missed. See if Tiggy's rollin' out the welcome mat ..."

"You play nice," his girlfriend warned, swatting him with the back of her hand. "I mean it, Koz – you two are like a couple of little boys scrapping in the playground sometimes."

"Hey, less of the little!" he growled, puffing out his chest and drawing himself up to his full height. Deflating when she simply rolled her eyes and laughed.

"I swear, sometimes you're more of a kid than some of my students-" Tasha broke off as she spotted company approaching, offering a little wave to the girl. "Lyla, hi!"

"Hey," the porn star smiled. "You two look cosy – good trip?"

"Yeah," Tasha said, leaning against Kozik. "I guess we just really needed the break ... A bit of time out, you know?"

"Sure," Lyla nodded, glancing around and looking just a little frazzled. Her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. "Could probably do with some of that myself."

"I saw what happened before – with Ima ..." Tasha ventured. "I thought you guys were friends?"

"Me too. She ... Shit, don't say anything, but she kinda hooked up with Jax ..."

Realisation quickly dawning on her, Tasha tensed. "Let me guess, the little slut couldn't help but open her big mouth? We saw Tara leave in a hurry-"

"Worse than that - she walked straight in on them just now. I mean, I know Jax is going through some shit, but god! How could he do that to her? With Ima of all people, and right on Tara's doorstep," Lyla said, shaking her head in disbelief. "Listen, I gotta go pick up the kids, but I was thinking someone should go check on Tara - I know you just got here, but ... you wanna come?"

"Sure," Tasha shrugged, turning to Kozik. "That's cool with you, isn't it? Give you a chance to find out what's been happening from the guys ..."

"Guess so," he nodded, curling an arm around her waist and dropping a kiss on her lips. "You stay safe, baby. See ya later."

* * *

Nursing a steaming cup of coffee, Tasha glanced across the table at the stony-faced doctor and sighed. "I'm so sorry, Tara."

"You weren't the one who screwed Ima."

"How true," came the wry reply. "Which probably puts the three of us in a very small minority."

Tara watched as Opie and Lyla's brood of children squabbled over a game, making their boredom felt, and tears sprang up unbidden. Making both women in front of her exchange worried glances. They knew she had to be thinking about Abel - wondering if she'd ever get to see the little boy she loved like he was her own playing like that.

"I'm sorry – I'm ... I'm not very good company right now," she managed.

"Hey, we didn't come for the company," Lyla said. "We wanted to check you were okay. You're the one usually patching everyone up – about time someone returned the favour."

"Plus us old ladies gotta stick together," Tasha shrugged, sipping her coffee. "You know that. We know how tough this life is ..."

"At least you two know that it's worth your while, that Kozik and Opie love you. Jax ... Jax blames me for Abel being taken, I know he does. He pushed me away in a heartbeat."

"Take it from someone who knows, Tara – pushing someone away doesn't mean you don't love them," Tasha sighed. "I've ... I've been where Jax is now and I struggled with a lot of shit – grief, anger ... I couldn't handle Koz trying to be there for me. But I didn't love him any less. People do stupid things when they're hurting."

"You didn't jump into bed with the nearest warm body," the doctor pointed out. "I just ... I know the deal with the croweaters. The what-happens-on-a-run-stays-on-run bullshit. But I ... I thought we'd be different. I suppose everyone does that, don't they? Never think it's gonna be their man doing some _whore_."

"I know. Trust me, I know," Tasha said softly, focusing her gaze on her mug. Feeling the curious eyes of both other women on her, she took a deep breath. "After ... After what happened, you know I shut Koz out. I treated him really badly because I blamed ... maybe not him exactly, but I blamed the club. I pushed him away. And I pushed and I pushed and I pushed, until ... he slept with someone else."

"_What?_ You never said anything!" Lyla frowned, mirroring Tara's shocked look. "You two are like the golden couple ... And you looked so close back at the clubhouse."

"We're getting there," Tasha nodded. "But it was tough for a while. The thought of him with one of those skanks still makes me feel sick, but ... he swears it was one time. That he was drunk and it didn't mean anything. If I hadn't shut him out-"

"You were grieving for your _baby_, Tash!" Tara exclaimed, looking appalled on her friend's behalf. "You shouldn't be feeling like it was your fault – god, those bastards are all the same!"

"I'm not making excuses for him, I just ... I know it was a bad time for both of us. And we've come through too much to just throw it all away over some hangaround slut. Just like you and Jax."

Taking a moment to digest it all, the doctor drained the rest of her tea and stood up to busy herself pouring another cup and topping up her guests' coffees.

"I guess it just depends on whether or not Jax thinks he made a mistake or if he just regrets getting caught," she shrugged, trying and failing to sound casual. "How did you find out about Kozik?"

"He told me," Tasha confessed. "We worked out a lot of shit while we were at the cabin, laid it all on the line. And he said if we wanted to make a proper go of things, he couldn't keep something like that from me-"

"See, _that's_ where the difference is," Tara said forcefully. "He made a mistake, but he loves you and he wants to make it right – Jax ... Jax doesn't care."

* * *

"Long day, baby?"

"The longest ..." Tasha nodded wearily, as Kozik slid into bed beside her in the Redwood dormroom that was always his for the asking. One of the privileges of his patches. It may not have been fancy, but with a huge double bed and its own tiny bathroom, it was more than comfortable.

"You look tired," he frowned, taking in the slight dark circles under her eyes and noting she seemed a little paler than her usual golden tan allowed for.

"Gee, thanks."

"Hey, tired looks good on you!" he backtracked jokingly. But he couldn't quite shift that hint of concern. They'd had a hell of a long ride and then she'd thrown herself back into things – checking on Tara, helping Lyla with the kids, even seeing if the guys needed any help in the Teller-Morrow office in Gemma's absence.

He was proud of her but, with it all coming on top of the fact she wasn't totally recovered to full health after the crash, he was worried too. He didn't want her overdoing it.

"I'm fine," she smiled, seeming to read his mind. Trying to do better at hiding just how exhausted she was, her body full of renewed aches and weighted down with tiredness. "Nothing a good night's sleep won't cure."

Somewhat appeased, Kozik waited until she had turned onto her side and then curled an arm around her, drawing her back against his chest and pressing a kiss to her shoulder. Falling asleep too quickly and too soundly to realise just how much of the night his girlfriend spent tossing and turning uncomfortably.

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	2. two

**two.**

Perched on a bar stool, Tasha drummed her fingers lightly on the polished wooden counter. Minutes ticking by with excruciating slowness. She checked the clock on the wall again. And then her watch, just in case. Wondering what the hell was taking so long.

Still, she knew it would be worth the wait in the end. Kozik had tried to play it cool, but she could tell how much it would mean to him to be patched back into the mother charter. So she'd promised she be there. The first person he'd see when they got out of Church. Every inch the proud old lady.

She even felt like she was channelling Gemma, in her tight jeans and crisp white shirt. Tan high-heeled leather boots stretching to her knees. She'd left her hair just how Kozik liked it – falling down her back in its natural tousled waves. Couldn't wait for him to bury his hands in it and kiss her in celebration. Mark the official start of their new life together in Charming ...

Starting in surprise, Tasha turned as the door finally flew open and watched the guys spill out into the bar, whooping and cheering. Banging a grinning Happy on the back, in welcome to their newest member. She smiled, pleased for the nomad but still trying to seek out her man. Her smile slowly fading when she spotted him trailing along at the end, his shoulders slumped and Clay and Jax beside him.

"Koz? What's wrong?" she asked in concern, as she hurried to him. "What happened?"

"That bastard screwed me over, that's what happened," Kozik practically spat as he glared across the room to where Tig was smirking.

"What? I don't understand-"

"He refused to vote me in, like a little grudge-holdin' bitch," came the growl, making her understand.

"Oh baby, no ..." Tasha sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist. Upset for him, worried about what it meant for the future, confused how Tig could seem to hate him so much when no one else did.

"Sorry, man, I thought he was on board," Clay said, laying a hand on Kozik's shoulder. "You stick around, you understand? You and your lady."

"Yeah, Tig just wants to let you know who biggest dick is," Jax added. "We'll vote again in a couple of weeks – you'll be SAMCRO."

"Why should we stick around to suit whatever twisted little game he's playing?" Tasha demanded indignantly, from her boyfriend's side. "And why are you letting him do this? When the hell did this place become such a democracy? You two run this club, how come _he_ gets to call the fucking shots?"

"Tash-" Kozik started, a warning note in his tone despite his own anger and disappointment. It wasn't an old lady's place to question club business and she remembered exactly who she was talking to just a little too late.

"Shit, I'm sorry," she said softly, flushing just a little at her mistake. She stood by the sentiment, she just didn't want her outburst to be a bad reflection on Kozik – especially not now. "I didn't mean ... I just-"

"Take it easy, sweetheart," Clay said, a smile threatening on his face as he shrugged. "You got spark and you're loyal to your man – I like that. You make sure you hold on to this one, Koz. And seriously, don't take off – we'll sort this shit with Tigger out."

"Yeah?" Kozik said, his blue eyes hardening in contrast with the gentle way he detached his girl's arms from around him. "Well, I'm gonna start the healing ..."

* * *

It was times like this that Tasha remembered how easy it was to hate the club.

From the moment Kozik had stormed across the room to confront Tig, she had known what was coming and desperately hoped someone would step in. Clay, Jax, anyone. But no, they were all too busy making room and hollering their support from the sidelines of the full-on brawl. Entertained by the sight of the two notorious sergeants tearing into each other, over-turning tables and chairs and shattering glasses.

She watched in horror, flinching at every blow Tig landed. And when one particularly hard punch sent Kozik reeling, she actually started forward until she was stopped by a hand on her arm and turned to see Bobby shaking his head at her.

"I wouldn't if I was you, kiddo – you're only gonna get caught in the crossfire. This shit's been brewin' too long - they need to let off some steam," he said, with a sympathetic smile. "Trust me, those two are big enough and ugly enough to handle a beating, but I'd hate to see that pretty face messed up ..."

She knew he meant well and may have heeded the warning, but that didn't mean she had to like it and Tasha made her feelings quite clear as she shrugged him off and went to stand alone, her worried gaze never leaving the fight. She knew what both men were capable of, they all did, and it was already in danger of turning into a bloodbath when Clay finally gave the nod. Happy and Chibs making a grab for Kozik, Opie and Jax restraining Tig as the pair struggled to get back at each other's throats.

"Koz ..." Tasha whispered as he was deposited on a barstool, blood pouring down his face. It was bad enough when outsiders wanted them dead, but knowing one of his own so-called brothers was behind this was too much to handle and she pushed Chibs away even as he tried to assess the damage.

"Oi, watch it, lass," the well-meaning Scot tried. "Lemme just see about gettin' him cleaned up, yeah?"

"No! Leave him alone – I'll do it myself," she insisted, snatching the damp cloth from him and moving to stand between her boyfriend's knees, tenderly wiping blood from his cheek as Chibs shrugged and went to see if Tig needed patching up. "Oh Koz, look at the state of you ..."

"Sorry, babe," he managed sheepishly, his breathing still ragged and the adrenaline still pumping. "But that douchebag had it coming."

"I know," Tasha nodded, leaning her forehead gently against his as he curled an arm around her waist and drew her closer. His blood staining her shirt. "It's ok," she said, seeing him notice and try to pull away. "I don't care, I really don't. Oh god, your eye – let me look ..."

"Hey, girlie, you ever feel like trading your _boy_ in for a real man, you let me know ..." Tig sneered, already back on his feet and strutting around. Eager not to lose face. "What's the matter, shithead - need someone to kiss your boo-boos better?"

But before Kozik could even get a word in, Tasha rounded on his adversary without even thinking about it. "Why don't you do us all a favour and drop the fuck dead, asshole!" she snapped, with a fury none of them had ever seen from the usually even-tempered young woman. Even her boyfriend's jaw dropping in response.

No one spoke to Tig Trager like that, especially not a woman. They all knew it and Kozik hastily forced himself to his feet and stepped in front of his girl as the older man's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"This ain't on her, man."

"You better rein your goddamn bitch in – I'm only lettin' that slide 'cause everyone knows damaged goods are fucked in the head ..." Tig hissed spitefully, drawing shocked looks and muttered disapproval from more than one of his brothers.

"You sick motherfucking _bastard_ ..." Kozik said in disbelief, one glance at Tasha telling him how deeply the cruel words had cut. Her face drained of colour and her gaze dropping to the floor. "Get outta my face, Trager - before I kill you where you fucking stand!"

"_Enough!_" Clay roared, slamming his hand down on the bar. An exasperated look on his face. "You – Church. _Move!_"

* * *

Sitting down heavily at the head of the charter's table, Clay ran a hand over his face and looked up at his sulky sergeant. He knew Tig had few boundaries, but even he had been shocked by the display of venom and he wasn't having it. Not in his club. His men had to have each other's backs, and not so they could plunge a knife in it. Proverbial or otherwise.

"What the hell was that?" the President demanded. "So you don't like Kozik – believe it or not, we'd picked up on that. But that was a real cheap shot at the girl."

"You heard how she was running her mouth. If the bitch can't take it, she shouldn't try dishing it out."

"You just beat the shit out of the man she loves!" Clay threw his hands in the air, watching through the window as Kozik pulled an obviously upset Tasha into his arms to comfort her. "What did you think she'd say – _thank you_? And, as if I need to remind you, she ain't some damn croweater - she's the old lady of a fully-patched member of this club. A sergeant, no less."

"Actually, she ain't," Tig said calmly, turning to face his President with a knowing look. "The bastard's transfer papers are in. He ain't Tacoma and he sure as hell ain't Redwood. He's got two months tops and then he ain't got a choice – if he ain't voted into a charter, he goes nomad or he gets the fuck out."

"Jesus Christ, Tig!" Clay swore, actually taken aback all over again. "Forget Kozik for a minute - you'd really put that on his girl after the shit she's been through? A nomad's life ain't one for an old lady-"

"Ain't my fault she's shacked up with an asshole," his second-in-command shrugged, sending the President's head back into his hands.

* * *

**to be continued ... **


	3. three

**three.**

"What the fuck is his problem, huh?" Kozik fumed as he stood at the bar, knocking back the shot of whiskey Piney pushed into his hand as a painkiller of sorts. "I mean, he hates _me_ – that's cool, I get it. But Tash don't deserve that."

"Well, Tig never has given much of a shit when it comes to women – can't see him changing now," Piney said darkly, glancing in the direction of his own son as he patted the battered and bruised sergeant on the back in solidarity. "You're just lucky he stopped there."

"Lucky? I swear to god, Piney, if he'd laid a finger on her ... He'd be six feet in the goddamn ground by now."

"Can't say as I blame ya, son, but you need to cool down – no good gonna come of you and him knocking heads again right now. Just gonna get Clay pissed. Go check on that girl of yours."

Dumping the rag he'd been holding to his face, Kozik nodded. "Thanks, old man," he called over his shoulder, as he headed off after Tasha. Knowing she'd gone to change her blood-stained shirt and hurrying to his dorm room.

"Just me, babe," he said as he pushed open the door, only to find her curled up on their bed with her back to him. Her boots kicked off and her shirt a balled-up mess on the floor, replaced by a simple pink vest top. "You okay?"

But her nod was less than convincing and he frowned, shrugging off his cut as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, running a hand down her side and leaning over her to whisper in her ear.

"That douchebag don't know what the fuck he's talkin' about, sweetheart – he's only spoutin' that shit because of me ..."

"I know and I'm okay, honest," Tasha sighed, sitting up and wiping at her eyes as he shifted so she could cuddle into his arms. His back against the wooden headboard and her head on his chest. "I dunno why I let him get to me, I'm just being stupid and ... and over-emotional ... Ignore me, I must be more tired than I thought."

"You, my darlin', are many things – stupid ain't one," Kozik said firmly, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Smart, sexy, sweet ... Now that's you all over."

A little smile appearing despite everything, she reached out to caress his cheek tenderly. "Your poor face ... You're gonna have a hell of a black eye, honey."

"I've had worse," he shrugged. "Wouldn't say no if ya wanted to kiss it better though ..."

"Always trying your luck ..." she smiled, but she tilted her lips to his willingly enough. Kissing him soft and slow as he tangled a hand in her hair, settling with her head tucked under his chin when they eventually pulled apart.

"What are we gonna do?" Tasha whispered. "What if you end up going nomad? I'll never see you ..."

"Hey, don't go worrying - it ain't gonna come to that, baby," Kozik soothed. "I'm gonna find a way to make this work, I promise. Here, I ... I was gonna do this properly, but I got you something to bring that gorgeous smile back ..."

Feeling him shift, reaching for something in the pocket of his jeans, Tasha sat up to watch curiously. Realising what it was in an instant when she saw the little box in his hand, but still stunned when he snapped it open.

"Oh my god, _Koz_!" she practically squeaked.

"What? You thought I was gonna propose to my girl with some shitty piece of tin?" he smirked.

"Technically you proposed without _even_ a shitty piece of tin ..." she laughed.

"And you said yes, doll – you know there ain't no do-over, right?" Kozik grinned, taking her hand in his and kissing her fingers before he slowly slid the sparkling solitaire in place. "Ring or no ring, you're all mine."

* * *

Sitting opposite Tara at the tiny coffee shop that served as Charming's answer to Starbucks, Lyla nodded in response to the shocked gasp she'd just drawn from the doctor with her tale of the latest Sam Crow drama.

"I _know_! Damaged goods – if it was anyone else, I'd ask how he could be so cruel, but this is Tig we're talking about ... And Melanie said everyone was convinced he was going to hit her – that he probably would have if Kozik hadn't stepped in."

"Melanie? Which one's that?"

"Brunette, skinny, big boobs ..."

"You do realise you just described maybe half the women in there?" Tara said, a small smile on her face. Getting a giggle from the pornstar. "But it doesn't matter – how's Tasha? Have you seen her since it happened?"

Lyla shook her head, stirring her skinny latte absently. "Opie said she was obviously upset, but just brushed it off. Insisted on getting Koz cleaned up and then went to change 'cause she got his blood all over her shirt."

"Must have been some fight ..."

"Definitely sounds like it. For all Koz is a sweetie to Tasha, I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him. And Tig's ... well, Tig – can you believe he _bit_ him?"

"Actually, I kinda can."

"I just really hope Koz gets patched in here though – it'd be nice to have Tash around more. I've never really had proper girlfriends before."

"Looking for a replacement for Ima-ho?" Tara asked, feigning innocence.

"Ha, Tash is _so_ not slutty enough to replace her!" Lyla laughed. "But I'm serious – it's nice having other women to hang out with who aren't eying up your man, bitching behind your back or putting you down for gaining, like, a pound."

"Oh, come on – you never gained a pound in your life! But, while we're being serious, I'm sorry ... I didn't give you a proper chance at first and I was wrong. I'd had run-ins with Ima and I tarred you all with the same pornstar brush. You're good for Opie, you're great with the kids – everything I didn't think you would be ... and I apologise."

"It's okay," Lyla shrugged easily. "I get it. And if our situations were reversed, I'd probably have been thinking the exact same thing. Besides, I pretty much thought you were a stuck-up cow, so I'm sorry too. We're cool now though, right?"

"Of course. And thank you – just for ... everything, I guess. Slapping Ima, being there through all this. Between Abel being taken and Jax ... being Jax – I guess it just helps to have someone to talk to."

"Even a pornstar?"

"Even a pornstar," Tara smiled.

* * *

Sitting sideways on his parked-up bike, his girlfriend standing between his knees to rain tiny kisses on his lips, Kozik pulled back with a little grin and playfully smacked her on the ass. "You should get goin', doll – the girls'll be waiting."

"I know ..." Tasha pouted, an arm curled around the back of his neck. Bringing her forehead to rest gently against his and dropping another little peck on his mouth, giggling when he suddenly wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her deeply.

Interrupted by a throat being cleared, the pair froze and looked round to see a somewhat bemused looking Opie leaning in the doorway, his arms folded across his broad chest.

"Busted," Kozik whispered to Tasha with a laugh, before waving to his friend. "S'up, dude? You landed with babysitting duty?"

"Hey, man. We're playing Playstation – I got maybe a coupla beers ... all the chocolate milk ya want though. You in?"

"Best offer I'm gonna get tonight ..." Kozik grinned, slinging an arm around Tasha's shoulders and walking her to the door.

"Lyla and Tara are upstairs," Opie said, with a jerk of his head. "Kids are through here ... You think you two can survive being that far apart for a coupla hours?"

"I can – dunno about him though," Tasha teased, patting Kozik's chest and sticking out her tongue at him when he tugged a lock of her hair. "Hey, kids. You guys go easy on these two, yeah? Don't go wearing them out ..."

Kenny, Ellie and Piper - quickly losing interest in the visitors they'd trotted into the hall to greet - turned tail and ran, pushing and shoving, back to their games console while Kozik watched his girlfriend disappear up the stairs to join her friends. Turning to see Opie watching him and raising his eyebrows in question. "What?"

"What's with you two?" Opie asked curiously. "Making out like teenagers in the drive, all touchy-feely ..."

"Dunno what you're on about," Kozik shrugged. But he couldn't keep the grin off his face for long. "Dude, she said yes."

"Yes? Fucking hell, man – don't tell me she's finally gonna make an honest man of you? Hang on – Kenny! Give your sister her turn. Don't have me tell you again. Sorry, you were saying ..."

"That's the plan. Asked her at the cabin, put a ring on her finger today-" Kozik said, breaking off with a laugh when he heard excited squeals from upstairs. "Guess the word's out ..."

"Well, it explains a lot – congratulations. Hey, that definitely calls for a beer before we brave the war zone in there," Opie smiled, leading the way into the kitchen and grabbing two beers from the fridge. "It's about damn time – and you two deserve something good."

"It's been a rough ride to get this far," Kozik admitted, leaning back against the counter. "But I don't need to tell you that. You've come through a tough time too, buddy – but you and Lyla are good, right?"

"Yeah ... yeah, we're good," Opie nodded, taking a long drink. His response less than convincing.

"You're banging a porn star, Op – a little more enthusiasm wouldn't go amiss!" Kozik said wryly, but he could already see he might have inadvertently reached the root of the problem. "Porn pussy's all well and good when you don't gotta worry about it come morning, huh? I get it, man. And listen, I salute you 'cause I know I couldn't do it. Tash ever decides on a career change, there's gonna be a helluva lot of dead bodies round CaraCara."

"It's just ... I trust _her_. You know?" Opie sighed.

"It's everybody else you wanna kill. Yeah, I hear ya. You talked to her?"

"Tried. Always ends the same way. Naked."

* * *

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, sipping the glass of rosé Lyla had poured from the bottle in the ice bucket on the floor and shoved in her hand, Tasha tried but failed to wipe the happy smile off her face.

"Sorry – I feel kinda bad doing this ..." she said, shooting a guilty look at Tara. "With Abel still missing and-"

But the doctor dismissed her concerns with a wave of her hand. "Please don't. You deserve this, Tash, and I'm really happy for you. Besides, Jax can go out and get laid and Abel's his _son_ – I think you can have a little drink."

"Hey, this is girls' night – no talking about guys. Not _our_ guys anyway," Lyla said lightly, trying to detract from the bitterness that crept into Tara's tone when she mentioned her man. "Although I gotta take a sec to say damn, Koz has good taste – look at this rock! I can't believe you didn't tell us sooner, girl ..."

"I guess it just didn't seem real until now," Tasha admitted. "Being at the cabin ... it was like having our own little world. Just us. I didn't even see it coming – I mean, me and Koz, we've never really talked seriously about getting married. I kinda thought when he gave me his crow ... that was it."

"He's doing this for you," Tara said, playing with her own glass. "You came into his world, played by his rules ... He wants to give you something back. Something normal."

"You definitely got one of the good ones, honey" Lyla smiled, getting up to put on some music. "Now, come on, ladies – is this a party or what?"

* * *

"How are you doin' this? Hey, Op – tell your kid to quit cheating!" Kozik demanded, bumping shoulders with Kenny as they both stared intently at the screen. "Aw, it's like that, is it? Take that ... Ha, how d'ya like that, hotshot? What the- Dammit!"

"Game over," Kenny beamed, fists pumping the air in triumph. "Loser."

"I'll show you loser ..." Kozik mock-glared, hoisting the little boy into the air and turning him upside down. Making all three of the kids giggle madly.

But Opie wasn't laughing when he returned from the hall, where he'd gone to escape the noise and answer his cellphone. All it took was a look and Kozik set Kenny down – right way up – and headed back out to the hall, knowing it had to be something to do with club business.

"What's up, man?"

"That was Tig – Clay's called an emergency Church. They got a lead on Abel. We're going to Belfast."

* * *

**to be continued ... **


	4. four

**A/N: Just a little note to explain - I usually like to stick quite closely to the show and deviate from the actual storylines in the natural gaps, the things we don't see on screen. With this, I had to change some things - I don't want to spoil it by going into what exactly, but I just wanted to give you a heads up that this won't directly follow the series. Hopefully you'll understand why - this has always been Koz and Tasha's story and if I get too caught up in everything else, this'll be waaaay longer than I intended! Thanks loads for reading and do help keep me on the right track with the reviews!**

**four.**

"I can't believe Jax wouldn't even tell me ..." Tara said softly. Staring out into the growing darkness through the window as Tasha sat on the couch with Piper on her lap, Ellie's head on her arm. Kenny at her feet, still playing his Playstation.

"Belfast ..." Tasha sighed. "God, I want Abel found – you know I do. But the thought of Koz thousands of miles away, somewhere that only makes the news for-" She broke off to mouth the word _bombings_ over the kids' heads. "It scares me. After everything ... It scares me so much."

Coming in from the kitchen to set a tray bearing cups of steaming tea down, Lyla straightened up with a little frown. "You ever notice how much we end up just sitting round drinking because of these guys? I mean seriously, they think they're so bad-ass and we're the ones with all the worry on our shoulders, drowning our sorrows or making tea because that's what you do, right? Stressed out? Make tea. Waiting for news? Make tea. I don't think I even _like_ tea ..."

"They're back," Tara cut in, as they all heard the rumble of bikes and she watched the headlights pull into the driveway. Waited for Opie and Kozik to take off their helmets and make their way to the front door. Turning to face them when they came in. "Well?"

"Tara ... You know we can't get into this with you. With any of you," Opie said carefully. "But it's a step forward, it looks promising. We're gonna go to Ireland and we're gonna bring Abel back. That's all I can tell you right now, okay?"

And hesitantly, she nodded. Wrapping her arms around herself and turning back to look out the window again to hide the tears that had welled up.

"When do you go?" Lyla asked quietly.

"First thing in the morning. We're pulling in a few favours to sort the transport and McGee knows we're coming, so he'll take care of things at his end," Opie said. "You gonna be okay with the kids?"

"I'll have to be, won't I?"

* * *

Walking with Tasha to his bike, her hand held tightly in his, Kozik paused as if he was about to say something but then noticed Lyla and Opie in the doorway to see them off. So he had to wait until they'd made it back to the clubhouse, resisting the urge to just pull over at the side of the road – guilty as he felt as Tasha wrapped her arms tighter around him than usual, her head resting on his back as he drove. Last thing they needed was to get jumped by Mayans after dark though.

"Tash, wait up," he said, grabbing her hand when she climbed off the bike in the Teller-Morrow lot. "I gotta tell you something and-"

"It can wait."

"No, it can't-" he tried, but she was already pulling him across the yard. Of course, he could have just planted his weight any time he liked. But he was curious as to exactly what had gotten into her, letting her trail him through the clubhouse to the dorms. "What's your hurry, doll?"

At first he'd had an inkling she just didn't want to risk running into Tig again so soon after their little encounter. But when she shut the door of their room and locked it behind them, he realised she had something else entirely in mind.

"You taking me hostage, baby?" Kozik said, a slow grin creeping over his face.

"I wish I could ..." his girlfriend sighed. And he knew he should have told her then, just blurted it out. But before he had time to think, let alone speak, she was in his arms and his capacity for rational thought forsook him.

As far as he was concerned, it was hardly his fault. How was he supposed to think straight when she was kissing him like that, her body practically wrapped around his? She _knew_ what that did to him. And if he couldn't concentrate when she was lying under him, both of them half naked and those soft green eyes looking up at him, biting her lip in that cute way she did – then what chance did he have when he was buried inside her, as she poured everything she wanted him to do to her into his ear in breathless little whispers?

"Fuck, Koz ... I love you," Tasha gasped, one hand in his hair as he bit down on her shoulder to keep back a groan, his tongue lathing over the mark he left. Her other hand gripping his tattooed bicep.

She swore a lot more in bed with him. Seemed he was a bad influence – and that was just how he liked it.

Sometimes.

* * *

"You fucking _asshole!_"

Sometimes he liked it when she swore at him. Not all the time though. Not when she was showing him a very different kind of passion.

"Tash, baby – I tried-"

He'd fallen asleep, his face nuzzled into her neck and an arm thrown possessively across her, only to be gently shaken at the crack of dawn, worried as she was that he would incur Clay's wrath if he was late. But of course, still half asleep as he was, he'd simply grunted at her to go back to sleep – because he wasn't going to Ireland.

And she'd shot bolt upright in disbelief, shoving him in the chest and almost knocking him right off the bed.

"You let me keep thinking you were going to Belfast to get your ass blown up in some fucking IRA car-bomb this whole time? More concerned about getting laid than the fact I'm worried sick – god, Kozik, you can be _such_ a selfish prick sometimes!" Tasha yelled at him, yanking the sheets off the bed to wrap them around herself and leaving him stumbling into his boxers as he tried to stop her storming around the room.

"Tasha, come on – you didn't exactly give me a chance, darlin' ..."

"Don't you _darlin'_ me! You just don't get it, do you?"

"What was I supposed to do? Rub it in Tara and Lyla's faces – sorry, ladies, while Jax and Opie are risking their necks, I'm gonna be here, fixin' goddamn bikes!"

"You still could have said _something _sooner!" she shouted, hurling a pillow at his head. But, almost as quickly as she'd sprang from their bed, she sank back down on its edge with her head in her hands.

"Aw shit, baby, don't cry ..." Kozik sighed. He never could stand seeing her upset and he shifted to kneel in front of her. Reaching out to rub her knee gently. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"I'm not crying, you idiot – I think I'm going to faint ..."

* * *

Bringing her a glass of water as she lay back against the pillows, Kozik hovered over Tasha with an anxious look on his face, running a hand through his hair.

"Would you stop – you're making me nervous!" she ordered, grabbing his hand and pulling him down beside her. Leaning her head on his shoulder. "This doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you."

"Fuck, sweetheart, I'm sorry," he told her sincerely, slipping an arm around her. "This is my fault – stressing you out ... Are you sure you don't need a doctor? Tara wouldn't mind-"

"I don't need a doctor, Koz – I got up too quick and it made me light-headed, that's it."

"The docs said before that you needed to be careful - complications and ... I dunno, infections and stuff ..."

"That was months ago – I think if it was going to happen, it would have. Long ago," Tasha scoffed. Softening just a little when she snuck at glance at him and saw he genuinely looked worried. "Come on, stop it," she said quietly, a hand on his chest. "I'm fine, honest. You know, for this big bad-ass ... you freak out kinda easy."

"This shit's serious, Tash," Kozik frowned. "Club stuff goes bad, I shoot someone – it ain't a problem no more. But if you ... If you get sick, who'm I supposed to shoot to make it all better, huh? 'Cept maybe Tig."

"And why would you shoot Tig if I got sick?"

"Seems as good a reason as any," he shrugged. "Listen, you can be as pissed at me as you like – just ... come here, yeah?"

And relenting, she let him cradle her against his chest. Secretly glad of the solid reassurance of his arms around her, the steady thump of his heart just under her ear. "I'm glad you're not going to Belfast ..." she mumbled. "And I'm still cross with you."

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	5. five

**A/N: I may be spoiling you guys with the updates, but the lovely reviews definitely help with that - thank you, everyone!**

**five.**

"Here ya go, Piney – coffee, just how you like it."

"Strong and sweet, like my women," the old man chuckled mostly to himself, taking the mug. "Thanks, sweetheart. And not just for the coffee. You helpin' out round here and with the kids ... You've been a god-send."

Perching on the edge of the desk, Tasha shrugged but she couldn't help smiling at the praise. Opie's father wasn't exactly known for his gushing sentiments, so she realised it was to be appreciated. "Family's gotta stick together, right?"

"Right," he said slowly, shooting a searching look in the girl's direction as she flicked idly through a discarded car magazine. In denim cut-offs and with a checked shirt of Kozik's knotted over her vest top, a crow inked on her wrist, she could have been a blonde version of Gemma twenty years ago. Cooler-headed for sure, a little less assertive, but with that same fierce loyalty to those she cared about. "Listen, for what it's worth – I'd back Kozik in a vote any day of the week. And Tig will pull his head out of his ass, eventually."

"I wish I could be so sure, Piney. But you've seen what they're like – when they're not at each other's throats, they're bitching at each other like a couple of little girls!" Tasha sighed. "I can hear them at it again out there now ..."

"Tell you what, you get that damn phone and I'll go play referee again."

"Good idea – if I go, I might just snap and kill the pair of them," Tasha grinned, reaching for the phone. "Hello, Teller-Morrow?"

By the time she was halfway through arranging a pick-up and service of a bike, Kozik had strolled into the office with a warm grin for her and playfully planted his own baseball cap backwards on her head as she chatted to the customer.

"We'd need to give it a once-over before we could say for certain how long the work would take, but I could give you a call as soon as we know ..." she explained, gesturing for her boyfriend to pass her a pen. "No, that's no problem – I've got your number ... Yeah, we'll send someone to pick it up within the next hour ... Okay, have a nice day. Bye now. And what are you laughing at?"

"You," Kozik grinned, leaning in for a kiss as she hung up the phone. "Proper little grease-monkey ... Although _have a nice day?_"

"Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot your usual customer service only extends as far as _now piss off, we're busy_ ..."

"Hey, I don't remember you having any complaints about the service, doll."

"God, that seems like a lifetime ago ..." Tasha sighed, tilting her chair back on two legs as she thought back to when they'd first met in the exact same office. Then giggling at the look on his face. "Oh honey, I didn't mean it in a bad way – I just meant ... You know. Can you believe that before that, we didn't even know each other existed? And now ..."

"And now ..." he smiled, pulling her out of her chair and into his arms. "I ain't ever lettin' you go, gorgeous."

"Well, you're gonna have to at least put her down, son," Piney said, reappearing in the doorway. "Prospect's bringing in a breakdown and Tig says he's busy."

"Oh don't, Koz," Tasha interrupted, seeing his eyes darken at the mention of his so-called work buddy and cutting him off before he could say anything. "I promised I'd go take the kids to a friend's house anyway – I'm just dropping them off and then Lyla's mom's picking them up."

"I haven't had a break all morning ..." he muttered glumly.

"Aww, baby – are we working you too hard?" his girlfriend teased, taking his hat and putting it back on him. Pulling the brim down low over his eyes with a little grin. "You're cute when you get all pouty. Tell you what, if you get back to work now, then you can take me for a nice, long lunch break when I get back, okay?

"Slave driver."

* * *

Kozik rolled his eyes in something between disbelief and exasperation as Tig handed his gun to one of the new Prospects and the polo-shirt-wearing kid's lip trembled like he'd shoved a live rattlesnake down his pants.

"You think I'll have to shoot it?" he was all but whimpering, his mentors almost united in their disdain.

The blonde sergeant had been hoping for a quiet day, pottering about back at Teller-Morrow, avoiding Tig and hanging with Tasha. She'd promised him lunch and who knew how that could end up, if he played his cards right ... But instead, Chucky'd taken a distress call and they'd ended up down at Lumpy's boxing ring to see who was messing with the old man's business.

Of course, he and Tig had gotten into it a little – the chance to get some payback for that shiner he'd left him with had been too good to pass up. Freshly battered from their sparring though, neither man was in any mood to be particularly tolerant of their inexperienced charges.

"I could stay too ..." the other one was wittering, as if two incompetent heads weren't twice as bad as one.

"Did we _tell_ you to stay?" Kozik snapped, thinking of everywhere else he could be. Wondering if Tasha had dropped the kids off already. Picturing her back answering calls, long tan legs crossed as she perched on the edge of the desk in those shorts, the phone cord twirled around her fingers ... "Let's go already."

* * *

Curled up in bed that morning, acutely aware that if she shifted from her side onto her back it felt as if the whole room was spinning around her, Tasha had quietly made a decision. She would give in and go see a doctor.

Then she'd had a long hot shower – Kozik joining her under the jet, his strong hands inadvertently caressing the tension right out of her muscles as a by-product of their roaming – and made time for a leisurely breakfast, before checking in with Piney in the office. She'd felt fine. More than fine.

Until she'd found herself pulled over at the side of the road, head spinning and her stomach churning. Just thankful she'd already dropped off Kenny, Ellie and Piper. And that she hadn't passed out at the wheel.

"Tasha?"

Looking up to see Tara hurrying towards her, she stood up, feeling a little awkward to have disturbed her friend at work.

"I'm so sorry, Tara – you're probably busy ... I shouldn't have come ..."

"Don't be silly," the doctor soothed, frowning at the pale, worried face that greeted her. "Come through here and we can talk. Has something happened?"

"I just ... I feel really silly, I'm fine now and it's probably nothing ..."

"Tasha, come on," Tara said patiently, sitting down beside the blonde and watching her carefully. "This isn't like you – you're usually the calm one. Talk to me."

And, after a deep breath, it all just came tumbling out. The dizzy spells, feeling faint, the tiredness, the nausea in the car. And more than that, the underlying fear that - even in this late stage - her recovery was suffering some kind of setback. That just when things were getting back to whatever passed for normal, she'd picked up some kind of infection or something.

"I thought maybe I might just be coming down with something, but it's been a few weeks now and I don't have flu or anything. I don't have any other symptoms," Tasha tried to explain. "And in between times, I can be completely fine and that makes me feel stupid for panicking. But ... it's not going away either and after everything, I just ... I just ... Sorry, ignore me – I can't seem to turn off the waterworks lately either. I think I'm just stressed out and being ridiculous ..."

"Oh sweetie, this really has you worried!" Tasha sighed, taking her friend's hand and squeezing gently. "Why didn't you say something sooner? Have you told anyone about this? Kozik?"

Wiping tears from beneath her lashes, Tasha shook her head. "He saw me nearly faint once, but I just told him it was nothing – I didn't see any point in worrying him."

"Tash, you know he'd want to know – but hey, it might be something perfectly normal. The feeling faint could be your blood pressure or ..." Tara trailed off with a thoughtful look on her face. Opening her mouth to say something and then seeming to think the better of it.

"What? You think you know what's wrong with me?"

"Listen, I really don't think you should worry, Tasha. How would you feel if I took some blood, ran a few tests? I could call in a favour, get the results rushed through ... I don't want to say anything until I have something more concrete to go on, but I really don't think you should be too concerned. It would put your mind at ease ..."

And with a little nod, Tasha agreed.

* * *

Returning to where she'd left Tasha with a stack of magazines and a polystyrene cup of tea – both seeming to have gone untouched – Tara paused in the doorway, full of sympathy for the young woman who'd already been through so much and unsure how best to deliver the news.

"Hey ..." she said softly, sitting back down beside her friend. "You doing okay?"

Nodding, Tasha held up the cellphone she was clutching. "Kozik. Five missed calls from Teller-Morrow, three from his cell. Plus a text wanting to know where I am and another asking me to call him. I bitch at him for making me worry and then turn around and pull some kind of disappearing act for a couple of hours ..."

"You should call him," the doctor said gently, laying a hand on her unexpected patient's arm. "I think he'll forgive you – when he hears he's going to be a father ..."

* * *

**to be continued...**


	6. six

**six.**

"So, if you could organise a scan, I'd appreciate it ... Uh, is there a problem?"

Standing in her supervisor's office, Tara shifted uncomfortably under the speculative gaze trained on her, but forced herself to straighten her shoulders and front it out. She wasn't some naughty schoolgirl in the head teacher's office and she wasn't going to be made to feel like one. Other doctors called in favours all the time.

"Your _friend_ ..." Margaret Murphy said, adjusting her glasses on her nose as she regarded the young doctor. "How far along is she?"

"I'm not sure, not far though – maybe six weeks. That's partly why I'd like the scan. Why?"

"I just think your _friend_ should be ... aware of her options," came the careful reply.

Realisation dawning on her, Tara shook her head in disbelief at what she was hearing. The implication hanging heavily in the air and causing her hands to clench into tight fists. She knew she should be used to that kind of attitude by now, but it rarely failed to sting.

Usually she could just ignore the hushed whispers in the line at the grocery store, the condescending stares when she went to get her hair done. For all they commanded respect in Charming, the Sons and those closest to them were the subject of many a wagging tongue in households that considered themselves more _civilised_.

"Oh, I get it ..." Tara said slowly, heat gathering in her tone as her anger festered. "You think _I'm_ the one who's pregnant and if Jax was the father, that'd be reason enough for an abortion - how _dare_ you cast judgement like that!"

"I'm simply pointing out that a motorcycle club is hardly a stable environment for a child-"

"You are so wrong. In _every_ way! Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not the one who's pregnant. My friend is the old lady of a Son though – a Son who loves her and who'll be there for her and their baby. She's already lost one child and you have _no_ right to say she should even consider giving up another, just because of who the father is!"

"Ah, Miss Callahan then ..." the supervisor said softly. "Very well - she'll have to come back later this afternoon, but I'll get her slotted in somehow."

"Uh ... good," Tara managed, a little taken aback by the development. "Good. Thank you."

* * *

Pulling into the Teller-Morrow lot, Tasha sat for a long moment with the engine still running and her hands on the wheel. Watching from a distance as an unaware Kozik focused his attention on the engine of the latest breakdown, one hand drifting to her stomach to rest over the tiny life they had created together.

They'd never believed in concrete plans, doubting how anything could be set in stone when you never knew what fate was going to throw at you next. When they'd first gotten serious about a family, they hadn't so much started trying for a baby as they'd just stopped trying not to have one.

_FLASHBACK_

"Koz ... Let me get the key in the damn lock first!" Tasha laughed as she struggled with the door, distracted as she was by the wandering of his strong hands.

"I got a key for your lock right here, baby ..."

"_Kozik!_ Sleaze, much?" she giggled, feeling him pressing up against her. But she half turned, despite her protests, to kiss him hard – a move that had him reaching around her to get the door open, the pair of them wrapped around each other and stumbling inside. Reunited after his latest run with the Tacoma guys to Rogue River. "Mmm, miss me?"

"Damn right, darlin'," Kozik growled against her throat, kissing his way back up to her mouth. One hand buried in her hair and the other arching her into him. "Which is why you need to get that perfect ass up those stairs and get naked ..."

"Always with the romance ..." she teased, her hands on his chest. Pulling out of his arms and heading for the stairs though, Tasha turned back to hold out her hand. Smiling when he laced his fingers through hers.

By the time he was leaning back comfortably against the pillows of their bed with the little blonde straddling his hips - a sight for his road-weary eyes in just tiny black cotton panties, her lips bruised by his kisses and her green eyes hazy with desire for him - they were both breathing hard. Tiny beads of sweat breaking out on tanned skin. A groan of approval torn from his throat when she ground against him.

"Fuck, yeah - hold that thought, doll ..." he managed, shifting below her to reach blindly for the drawer of the nightstand. An impatient frown crossing his face as he leaned over for a proper look, then a groan of a very different kind. "Shit ..."

"Tell me you're joking," Tasha warned. Guessing what the problem was, but hoping she was wrong.

"Do I look like I'm fucking joking?"

"Oh Kozik ..." she sighed heavily as he slumped back against the pillows in defeat. Resting her forehead against his as they both tried to recover themselves. "I suppose I could just ..."

Kozik's eyes drifted closed as she leaned down to press a soft kiss to the 'A' tattooed just over his heart, her long silky hair tickling his chest as her mouth moved slowly down his chiselled torso. But, just as her tongue grazed the patch of soft skin below his bellybutton, he reached to stop her. Confusion on the face that met his.

"Koz? What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothin' ..." he said, drawing her back up to him. "Just thinking."

Tasha quirked an eyebrow at that. "Really? _Now?_"

But instead of answering, he deftly rolled her beneath him – a move that made her gasp in surprise and him smirk down at her, before the expression softened and he reached out to caress her cheek. "So fucking beautiful ..." he murmured, leaning down to kiss her deeply and feeling her arms wrap around his neck.

"Kozik ..." she sighed, his name turning into a breathless little moan on her lips as he pressed the length of his body tight to hers. Not understanding why he would torture them both like that.

"What if we ... just see what happens?"

* * *

Tasha smiled softly at the memory. She'd only been half joking when he woke to find her staring at him the next morning and she'd told him she was looking for the fear in his eyes. She hadn't found any.

"Hey, where the hell did you get to?"

Startled from her reminiscing by the call from across the yard and realising she'd been spotted, she quickly shut off the engine and slid out of the car. Knowing she must have guilt written all over her face.

"You promised me lunch," Kozik said accusingly when he reached her, but she didn't miss the flicker of relief as he quickly assessed her. Checking that, wherever she'd been, she was still in one piece. Tasha had never been quite sure if that was the sergeant or the protective boyfriend in him. "I was _starving_ ..."

"You look like a guy who's fading away," she smiled wryly, running a hand up his arm and rising up on tiptoe to steal a kiss. "I'll make it up to you?"

"Nah-uh, doll – you wanted a piece of this, ya shoulda been here," he shook his head, with a stubborn look that didn't hide the twinkle in his eyes. "That ship has sailed. The train has left the station. The-"

"I'm pregnant."

She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him lost for words.

* * *

Laying back on the hospital trolley, a strong hand holding hers tightly, Tasha bit her lip as she stared up at the off-white ceiling. Counting the cracks. Willing herself not to cry.

She knew Kozik hadn't taken his eyes off the monitor since the midwife had covered her stomach in cold gel for the scan, that he was still glued to it as the woman frowned in concentration and tried pressing the wand a little harder against the skin she was moving it over.

Nothing.

Stunned into rare silence when she'd simply told him her news, Kozik's eventual reaction had told her everything she needed to know about how serious he was when it came to them starting a family. Not that his sincerity had ever really been in doubt.

"I'm pregnant ..." she'd repeated softly, still hardly able to believe it herself.

"Holy fuck!" his heartfelt, albeit less than eloquent, response. "But I thought ..."

"Me too."

"Tash ... Jesus! Come here, darlin'!"

Then, still in a daze, she'd been in his arms as he held her tightly. Whispering over and over in her ear how much he loved her. How happy she'd made him. And when he dropped to his knees to press a kiss to her stomach, it had finally sank in and she hardly knew whether she was laughing or crying as she pulled him to his feet and threw her arms around his neck.

Now ... Now, it all seemed to be slipping away again.

Tasha could feel Kozik's gaze shift to her, felt his thumb rubbing the back of her hand and knew what was coming. Every second lasting an eternity.

"Ah, that's better," the midwife interrupted, sending the biker's head snapping back to the screen. His girlfriend letting out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "There we are, mom and dad – meet your little one ..."

"Y-You're sure?" Tasha whispered, barely daring to look at the monitor.

"Very," the older woman nodded sympathetically. "It's early days – I'd guess about six weeks maybe – but see right here? That's a good strong little heartbeat. Seems he or she might just be a little shy ..."

"Shy? You sure it's mine?" Kozik joked, but there was no doubting the emotion in his deep blue eyes as he leaned down to kiss Tasha's forehead tenderly. The _love you_ a quiet murmur for her ears only.

"I'll give you two a few minutes," the midwife smiled. "Congratulations."

* * *

**to be continued ... **


	7. seven

**seven.**

Looking up to see Tasha and Kozik approaching, Tara couldn't help the look she shot in the direction of her supervisor. She knew there were plenty of people in Charming – Margaret Murphy among them – who couldn't seem to see beyond the leather cuts and tattoos. Who saw a Son with a pretty girl and couldn't imagine she was anything more than a trophy.

But the doctor felt almost _vindicated_ to see the couple together – the biker's arm wrapped protectively around his girlfriend's shoulders, both hers curled around his waist as she leaned up for a little kiss. Tara had always been too practical to be a real romantic, but there were few who could deny the two looked made for each other.

Their happiness her proof that love could exist, even in the midst of violence and bloodshed.

"Hey, doc," Kozik nodded in greeting, just about managing to tear his gaze away from Tasha.

"Hey. Good news?"

"Really good," Tasha nodded, smiling up at her boyfriend again before turning shining green eyes on the doctor. "Oh my god, Tara - we're having a baby!"

"I'm so happy for you, I really am," Tara said, reaching for the scan picture being held out for her. Wistfully tracing the image with a fingertip. "Congratulations, both of you ..."

* * *

Kozik knew from her quietness that something was on his girlfriend's mind, but he figured she just had a lot to take in. And, while she was lost in her thoughts, that soft little smile on her lips as her fingertips brushed her stomach kept him from getting too worried.

He'd parked up like she asked though, the couple sitting side by side on the hood of the Winstons' Cadillac, looking out over the lake on the outskirts of Charming. Tasha's head on his shoulder.

"You doin' okay, doll?" he asked finally, stroking her hair tenderly and feeling her nod against him. Bringing his palm to rest over her as yet non-existent bump. "You got my kid in there, sweetheart – I'm gonna be there every step of the way. Whatever you need, Tash, I swear. I ain't gonna let you down."

"I know," she said simply, rubbing the back of his hand. "Listen, Koz, I ... I want this to be just us for now, okay? It's still really early days and I don't want to tell anyone until after twelve weeks. Just ... just in case, you know?"

"For sure, I get that," he nodded. "And I know it's gonna be hard, baby, but you gotta try not to worry too much. No stress, the doc said. Don't want you keelin' over on me."

"I will try – I promise," Tasha said softly, leaning against him as her gaze drifted down their stretched out legs to her crossed ankles.

_FLASHBACK_

"You sure about this, kid?"

Starting at the gruff voice from the corner, Tasha's hand flew to her throat as her eyes swept the clubhouse she'd thought was empty, recovering herself when she realised who had spoken. Happy's dark gaze watching her from where he was quietly nursing a shot of whisky in the corner.

"Jesus, Hap – are you trying to kill me?" she sighed.

"Wouldn't be standin' there if I was," he said, no trace of irony in his gravelly voice. She didn't doubt it.

"Oh." Standing there awkwardly, Tasha didn't know whether to stay or go – she knew Happy didn't exactly do small talk and he had told her he would find her when he was ready ... But, just as she was about to make her excuses, he wordlessly set his foot to the edge of the chair opposite him and pushed it out for her to sit. And faced with those hard almost-black eyes, she sat.

"You picked a rough enough spot last time, for a rookie," Happy said, shifting to lift her foot into his lap. Strong calloused fingers tracing over her ankle." This'll be worse. I can take it slow, but ... it's still gonna hurt."

"I ... I think I can handle a little pain by now."

She took the silent way he got to work as acknowledgement that he thought she could.

"So ... Um, how's your mom?" The question slipped out almost unintentionally. As silences went, she'd had more comfortable.

"Holdin' on," Happy said, after a long pause. "They don't reckon she's got long left."

"I'm sorry," Tasha said softly but, his needle hovering above her skin, he just shrugged. A move that might have seemed indifferent, were it not for the fleeting look that passed over the nomad's usually stern face before he turned his attention back to the job in hand.

"We all gotta go sometime. She got a better innings than some."

She heard it for what it was – a tactful nod to her own loss – and felt the unexpected sting of tears. Hastily blinking them back. If Happy didn't do small talk, then he definitely didn't do public emotion. "You're the first person not to ask," she said instead. Getting only a raised eyebrow in response. "How I am?"

"Why would I ask when I already know the answer?"

Why indeed.

She'd thought it might be easier in Tacoma. No Gemma fussing over her, trying to trail her out for coffee, lunch, shopping ... No Tara asking how she was every five minutes, if she was in pain. Didn't the good doctor know she'd give anything for a little pain, if it meant she could at least feel _something_?

As it was, she was just numb. Inside and out.

But when she spotted even Tig shooting an oddly sympathetic look in her direction, that was the last straw and Tasha had demanded Kozik take her home. She knew he thought he was doing the right thing, keeping her where she'd have the other women for support. But that wasn't what she wanted, although she wouldn't even argue about it.

She didn't have the words to explain, didn't think he'd understand anyway. So she simply walked away when he refused at first. Leaving him to punch a wall in sheer helpless frustration, his knuckles bruised and bloody for days afterwards.

And finally he'd given in.

But it turned out being in Tacoma wasn't the answer she had so desperately hoped it would be. It seemed there was to be no escape from the looks, the well-meaning enquiries as to how she was doing.

Then the vice president's latest hook-up – who, after years of _getting_ _acquainted_ with half the charter, fancied herself as an old-lady-in-waiting after just a few rolls between the sheets with him - dared to take it upon herself to _fix_ the obviously struggling young woman. Mia was maybe only a couple of years older than Tasha, but had certainly been around the block a time or two, and had got the idea in her head that she had much more life experience the blonde could benefit from.

Plus Tommy and Kozik were buddies so, no doubt in her mind, fixing the sergeant's girl could only mean good things for her standing with the club. It was just a shame she didn't realise Geoff 'Tommy' Gunn didn't do commitment. And the only thing her interference was going to buy her was a swifter than expected exit from his bed.

Tasha still couldn't quite believe her gall. The over-familiarity with someone she'd barely spared a second glance before, the casual dismissal of what she'd been through as _one of those things_ ... And then came the comparison.

"I know what you're going through, hon, I really do," she'd cooed, a conspiratorial hand on Tasha's arm. "When I had an abortion last year, I was really down about it for a while, y'know? I mean, I didn't want a kid and the guy was a total asshole, but still-"

At least it had made her feel something – even if that something was the stinging of her palm as it connected hard with the other woman's cheek. "Don't you fucking dare tell me you understand, you stupid bitch!" Tasha had raged furiously in the stunned croweater's face. "Losing a baby you would have loved more than anything is NOT the same as _killing_ your own child because you're too much of a slut to keep your fucking legs shut!"

She'd shoved the taller woman, knocking over a bar stool in the process but, just as Mia recovered from her shock enough to lunge for her, Tommy and Kozik were there to grab their respective women. Tommy roughly dragging the protesting brunette out of the clubhouse by the arm, his face like thunder – leaving Tasha to collapse against Kozik's chest, distraught sobs racking her body as he held her.

It was the first time she'd cried since leaving the hospital. Ironic that Mia's particular mode of _helping_ had done more to break down the unhealthy barriers she'd put up than anyone could have predicted.

* * *

"Penny for 'em?" Kozik said, in a bid to get his girlfriend's attention. A flicker of concern on his face as he looked down at her. "You were miles away, babe ..."

"Oh ... was I?" she said vaguely, managing a smile as she looked up from the date tattooed on her ankle. The permanent reminder of the date their lives had changed forever, as if one was really needed. "Sorry ..."

"You would talk to me?" he asked, his gaze shifting to look out over the lake instead of at her. "If, ya know, you were worried about anything? I mean, hell, I don't want you worrying in the first place – but ya ain't gotta bottle shit up, you know that, right?"

"I know," Tasha nodded, touched by his efforts to take care of her. "Come on, Koz, of course I know. And I am okay, honestly. I just ... God, I don't even know what I'm trying to say."

Pulling out of his one-armed embrace, she slid off the hood of the car and walked a few feet away. "This baby ... This baby is going to be _so_ loved," she said softly. "But he or she can't wipe the slate clean, Koz. I know this is a second chance for us and I want to be happy, to just make the most of every second of this. Because I've never wanted something so much, something I never thought I'd get to have. After what we've been through ... having your baby – god, it means _everything_."

Her voice wavered and she paused, her back still turned to him. "But I don't want to act like our little boy never existed – do you realise we ... we never even say his name?"

Kozik had barely moved, not wanting to stop her from finally pouring her heart out. But he lifted his head at that. "Don't think for a single second it's because I want to forget him," he said huskily. "Sweetheart, I know it's different for you ... harder. You carried him inside you for months, but ..." He trailed off, trying to find the words as he stood up and went to stand in front of her. Reaching out to graze his fingertips over her stomach. Almost pleading with her to understand. "I felt him kick, Tash – I talked to him ... just like I'm gonna talk to this little 'un because I ain't gonna turn out like _my_ dad. Not for one goddamn second."

His blue eyes flashing almost angrily, he broke off to start rolling up one of his shirt sleeves. He didn't have to point to the fresh tattoo beneath the dragon on his bicep, but he did – and she didn't know how she hadn't noticed it sooner, although it must only have been a day or two old. The black script smaller but in the same style as the SOA on his chest. AARON.

"He was my _son_, Tash – ain't nothin' ever gonna change that," he said, seeing her eyes fill with tears as they met his. Letting her wrap her arms around him and burying his face in the crook of her neck as he held her.

* * *

**to be continued... **

**A/N: I just have to say, I really kinda struggled with this part - I do want to give Koz and Tasha some happiness, but jumping straight to everything being all sunshine and roses felt wrong after everything ... Meh, I dunno - I'm still not totally happy with it, but I'm hoping I'll be back on track next time round! Thanks for reading!**


	8. eight

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the lovely responses last time round - the encouragement really is great, especially since I am going through a bit of a sticky patch in terms of getting this how I want it. I am working on an update for Sparks too though, so keep an eye out! :)**

**eight.**

Wandering through the house, the blonde biker sat down heavily on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows propped on his knees and his head in his hands. The last couple of weeks had been ... He couldn't say hell – he'd known hell and, tough as things had been, they hadn't come close to that.

Lumpy Feldstein was dead. Jumped in his own boxing gym, while their chicken-shit prospect cowered in a corner. Ex-prospect now. Kozik was actually relieved the gutless little bastard had hightailed it under the cover of darkness. Saved him the trouble of dealing with him. And down as he was about the death of an old man he respected, he could only thank his lucky stars he'd never had to leave that snivelling coward to protect his girl.

The kid wasn't fit to lace Kip's boots.

With a sigh, Kozik reached for the wallet at the end of the heavy silver chain that swung from his jeans and carefully slid out the photo tucked into the back. A little lopsided smile tugging up the corner of his mouth despite everything. Eight weeks and everything was how it should be. Four more and he could tell everyone he'd ever met he was going to be a dad to that tiny little peanut – the good-natured abuse he'd taken last time still fresh in his mind ...

_FLASHBACK_

"Look at that shit-eating grin - you'd think he was the first guy to ever knock a bitch up ..." Fish rolled his eyes, earning himself a slap round the head from Tommy as they stood at the bar watching a beaming Kozik accept warm hugs and handshakes from the assembled guys in the clubhouse.

"Ain't much danger of that with you, kid," the Tacoma VP grinned. "Dry spell can't be too good for you, little Fishy."

"What? Fuck you, man – I do all right!"

"And he means alllll right ..." Happy drawled, a spark of humour in his dark eyes as he raised his eyebrows and made a jacking off gesture with his right hand to laughter from the others.

"Hold up, hold up – here he comes," Tommy warned as he spotted Kozik approaching. "Yo, Koz – how's it feel, my brother? Little lady, kid on the way ... Say the word and we'll be round to paint that picket fence."

"No need, Tommy," Fish chipped in, eager to deflect the teasing from himself. "Daddy's gonna have plenty of time on his hands – ain't like he's gonna be off on any runs ... gettin' any tail ..."

"And why exactly would I need to go chasing cheap ass when I got a gorgeous girl tucked up in my bed every night?" Kozik simply grinned, slinging an arm around their most recently patched member's shoulders. "When you got a woman who loves ya - besides your momma - then you can talk shit, little Fish. Now, go get me another beer."

For a second, Fish looked like he was going to protest – the new cut on his back putting errand-running beneath him, in his mind. But ultimately, he knew better than disobey a sergeant. Even one smiling from ear to ear.

Chuckling to himself as he watched the young man slope off, Tommy turned back to his friend and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Impending fatherhood ... Damn, man, never thought I'd see the day you settled down. Congrats, buddy – Blondie'll make an honest man of you yet!"

"She just might, dude. She just might ..."

* * *

Putting the scan picture safely back in its place, Kozik pushed himself back on his feet and headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time with long easy strides. Coming to a halt on the landing when he spotted his girlfriend in a doorway, her back to him as she took in the bright, airy room in front of her. Just setting a shoulder to the doorframe and watching as she moved to ghost her fingertips over the wood of the crib and gently set the mobile in a slow spin.

"Second thoughts?"

She half turned at his voice, shaking her head just a little. "No, it's just ... harder to let go than I thought it'd be," Tasha sighed. "Our first home together, Koz ..."

"Hey, I know, darlin' ..." Kozik said softly, slipping his arms around her from behind and cradling her against him. Knowing no one else would notice, but certain he could feel the slightest of curves under his hands as they rested on her stomach. Ducking his head to kiss her neck before pulling away and crossing the room to look out the window. "But this is just bricks and mortar, Tash," he said, turning to look at her as he laid a hand against the wall. "Wherever we live – you, me and our baby - that's gonna be home. And you said you loved the place in Charming ..."

"I did – I _do_," she assured him, joining him by the window and reaching out to brush her fingers lovingly through the messy spikes of his hair. "And I know you're right. It's just ... memories."

"And we're gonna have plenty more of those, baby girl," he grinned. "Kiss."

Obliging his demand, Tasha smiled as she rose up on tiptoe to press her lips to his, sliding her hand to the back of his head as he kissed her in return. Then squeaking in surprise when he bent and swept her, bridal-style, into his arms. "Koz! What are you doing?" she giggled, her arms tight around his neck.

"Making memories ..." he winked.

* * *

Tasha was still blushing and even Kozik had the good grace to look sheepish when they appeared downstairs to face the real estate agent and the couple thinking about buying their Tacoma home.

"We ... We had an appointment," the husband stammered, raising his chin a tad defensively. "The front door was open. What my wife must think ... I mean, in the middle of the day – we never imagined ..."

"I'm _so_ sorry, really I am," Tasha said earnestly, socking her boyfriend in the side as he tried to swallow a laugh. "We just ... um ... lost track of time?"

"We noticed," Mr Winters said tightly, adjusting his glasses. "Maybe we should go-"

"Oh no, please don't – at least have a little look around. It really is a lovely place," Tasha tried. "Please? We could start with the kitchen – it's just down that way ..." Ushering the couple down the hallway, she shot the real estate agent an apologetic look as the power-suited woman shook her head in something that might have been disapproval. If she hadn't been smirking.

"Aww, come on, Karen," Kozik tried, offering her his most charming smile.

But she simply arched one well-groomed eyebrow as she followed her clients. "Your t-shirt's inside out ..." Leaving Tasha and Kozik to stare at each other, until even Tasha had to dissolve into laughter.

"You big goof! It's back to front too," she giggled, reaching out to flick the exposed label of his shirt. "Come on ... If we're gonna buy that place in Charming, we're _both_ going in there to do some serious damage control. Best behaviour!"

"Fucking hell," Kozik sighed, as he set about righting his clothes first. "Maybe if Mrs Winters was getting some at _any_ time of day, she wouldn't look so damn miserable ..."

And Tasha couldn't help thinking he might be right.

* * *

Kevin Winters, a used car salesman, fancied himself as a man who knew things. He might have dropped out of high school, but he was definitely a graduate of the University of Life, yes sir. Thirty-six - going on sixty, some might say – and with his head screwed on, he wasn't going to pay over the odds for the house of a gang member.

Oh yes, he'd spotted the motorcycle parked in the open garage beside some flash sports car and he knew who he was dealing with here. He wasn't stupid. And after what they'd walked in on, who knew what might have gone on in the place.

He didn't even want to think about what might be buried under the floorboards, or in the backyard ... Plus, there was no way the guy needed the money. Drugs, guns, _prostitutes_ for Christ's sake – there had to be good money in all manner of filth. Better than used cars, for sure.

No sir, Kevin Winters wasn't going to be taken for anybody's fool.

* * *

Her husband was the one who did all the talking. Finding flaws. Tutting beneath his breath and shaking his head, as if he'd found a dry rot infestation instead of a simple creaking floorboard.

Alice Winters said very little. She knew her place and it wasn't one that allowed her an opinion. Not one he'd listen to anyway. She was ... well, perfectly happy was a stretch, but she would have been content not to move at all. Sure, their own little house was exactly that – little and just a house. But it was close to her family. That was, of course, the problem though. But only as far as her husband was concerned.

However, Kevin had decided they needed more space. And, not knowing what he meant by that, she dared to hope.

Following the owners of this comfortable home with its warm, lived-in, atmosphere, she let her fingers trail over the smooth wooden handrail as they made their way upstairs. A little of the heat inadvertently returning to her cheeks at the thought of what they'd interrupted earlier.

But they took a left this time and went into a room that brought a little inhalation of breath she couldn't help. Her gaze drifted around, flicking briefly to the tattooed biker and then settling on the girl as the less intimidating of the two. "You have a baby?"

A pause and a little shake of the head. "We're going to though – I'm ... I'm pregnant," the girl said, smiling up at the now grinning father-to-be. "Sorry, it's just early days so we haven't told anyone yet. It's nice to ... get to say it out loud, you know?"

Alice didn't, but she could imagine.

* * *

Dropping down on the couch, Tasha draped a leg comfortably over Kozik's and tucked her arm through his with a sigh. "Well, that was ... fun."

"Listen, doll, if you think that was fun ... we're breaking the fuck up," Kozik warned, but he rubbed her knee gently and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Promise me if we ever get that boring, you'll shoot me?"

"They're not _boring_, Koz," she tried, unconvincingly. "They're just ... different to us. Besides, I felt kinda sorry for her – that husband of hers was practically ignoring her! And did you see her face when she saw the nursery?"

"Well, I got news for her, sweetheart – if she wants knocking up, she's gonna have to get a hell of a lot less prissy about sex."

"Oh my god, don't - I was embarrassed about that too!" Tasha exclaimed, swatting his arm before burying her face against his shoulder with a little laugh. Her cheeks flushing again at the memory. "I've never wanted to be invisible so bad ..."

"I dunno why– it was _my_ ass they got an eyeful of!"

"Aww, does my poor shy little flower feel violated?" his girlfriend teased, knowing full well the whole episode had barely fazed him. He wasn't exactly the type to embarrass easily – just to pout over getting interrupted.

"I'll show you _little flower_ ..." he growled, scooping her onto his lap. "Think we can avoid any interruptions if we make it up those stairs again? I wanna- Oh for fuck's sake! What now?" Shifting to fish his cellphone out of the pocket of his jean, Kozik glowered at the display and then flipped it open. "_What?_"

"Quit playin' house and get your ass back here – you're needed."

"Aww, you need me, Tiggy?"

"Stow the shit and just do it, asshole," the voice on the other end of the line snapped, before abruptly hanging up.

"Well, seein' as you asked so nicely ..." Kozik muttered, turning back to Tasha with a sigh. "Sorry, baby girl-"

"So you should be – I liked having you to myself again," she pouted, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "Go on, get outta here."

"You sure you'll be okay to drive back?"

"I think I'll find my way, Koz," she said wryly.

"Cute, but you know that ain't what I meant," Kozik said sternly, tilting her face up to his with one finger below her chin and planting a firm kiss on her lips. "Hey, can't a guy show a little concern for his baby's momma? You stay safe, darlin'."

"You too ... Daddy ..." she said, smiling at the grin that lit up his face.

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	9. nine

**nine.**

Cradling an armful of books against her chest, Tasha freed one hand to straighten her dress and run her fingers through the loose waves of her hair. Taking a deep breath and plastering a smile on her face before she threw open the door and breezed into the midst of the waiting bedlam.

"Morning, gang."

She hadn't even raised her voice, yet the chatter faded to nothing and twenty pairs of disbelieving eyes rounded on her.

"Miss Callahan!"

Then all of them were talking at once, not letting her get a word in edgeways as the teenagers swarmed around her. Now the smile was genuine and it stretched into a grin as she held up her hands in a bid to shush them, both touched and amused by their excitement.

The prospect of returning to work – albeit only for the six months or so until she'd be back on maternity leave - had been a little daunting. But the warm welcome from her unruly students soon had her feeling like she was back where she belonged. And sad that she was only there to say goodbye, before taking up her new post in the high school in Lodi.

Swanning around the clubhouse was okay for a change, but it got old fast. It was still strange to see it so quiet these days, especially in the evenings. With the majority of the guys gone, the number of croweaters gracing them with their presence had also dwindled – a situation that caused no end of disappointment for Tig. And the prospects who'd been hoping their chances of getting lucky might have improved with the absence of most of their competition.

But thousands of miles away, the search for Abel was closing in on his kidnappers and they were all hopeful he and Sam Crow would soon be back where they belonged – so, in the meantime ...

"Hey, hey, at least keep it down to a dull roar – you'll have the principal in here in a minute!" Tasha warned. Shooing them back to their seats and perching on the edge of her desk to look round at them all. "It's really good to see you guys," she smiled warmly. "Really good."

"Even me, Miss?" came the cheeky question from the back row.

"Even you, Ryan," she said, rolling her eyes fondly at her most notorious class troublemaker as he tugged his knitted hat further down over his scruffy mop of hair and shot her a grin. He wasn't a bad kid at heart – although she could say that as, unlike his unfortunate Spanish teacher, he'd yet to reduce her to tears.

"We didn't think you were ever coming back," an otherwise quiet boy at the corner said, a slight tone of accusation in his voice.

"Shut up, Jase - don't make her feel bad!" the girl beside him hissed. "We did, y'know ... miss you and stuff, Miss Callahan. Like, loads – that old dragon we had instead was way harsh."

"Oh my god, totally," another voice piped up. "We were really sorry though ... about what happened. We wanted to come see you, but Mrs Morris said we weren't allowed. Did you get the flowers we sent?"

"I did and they were beautiful – thank you," she said, recalling the huge bunch of lilies that had arrived at the hospital for her. The tears she'd shed over the scrawl of messages in the accompanying card. "It really meant a lot to me - and Koz."

"Is Koz coming to pick you up, Miss?"

"No, 'fraid not, Shelley," Tasha laughed at the hopeful tone, before her smile faded a little. "He's in Charming – which is actually kinda why I'm here ..."

* * *

Strolling across the Teller-Morrow lot in the fading evening sunshine, Tasha paused to let her head tilt back wearily. Tired, but happy. It had been a busy week, all things considered, but worth it to get back to something like whatever passed for normal.

She did miss her old class a little, but at least her new kids had cut her some slack on her first day - although she was fairly sure the novelty would wear off sooner rather than later. She hadn't expected it to take quite so much out of her though. After a lovely 'welcome' dinner with her new colleagues – she hoped she'd got away with sticking to orange juice when they insisted on toasting her recent engagement, on the grounds of driving home – all she wanted to do was sink into a long hot bubble bath.

Tasha could practically smell her favourite coconut-scented bath lotion, feel the heat of the water caressing her skin and soothing her tired muscles. Perhaps with a couple of scented candles flickered on the edge of the tub ... She almost groaned aloud at the thought.

But, still stuck at the clubhouse as they were, that was firmly off the cards. The tiny bathroom attached to Kozik's dorm only had a shower and, though she wasn't exactly high-maintenance, Tasha was pretty sure she wouldn't bath a dog in the dingy-looking tub in the main bathroom.

Though they'd moved quickly to sell their home in Tacoma – to the Winters couple after all – and been able to snap up the place in Charming they'd been hoping to buy, they still had to wait a few weeks to be able to move in. The up-shot being that anything near as relaxing as a simple bath was on hold while they lived out of suitcases in the Redwood base, with the rest of their stuff in storage in the meantime.

And so Tasha resigned herself to the only relaxing alternative on offer – curling up in the arms of her man. Not that she was complaining.

"What the hell ..."

* * *

Her heart sank as she pushed open the clubhouse door and was instantly met by wall-to-wall scantily clad bodies and thumping music. Out-of-town Sons enjoying the company of the CaraCara girls, knocking back drinks amid raucous shouts and laughter. All presided over by a rather smug looking Tig, who was smoking a cigar in the company of two attentive brunettes at the bar.

"Didn't have Kozik figured for a guy with a librarian fetish ..."

Turning at the snide remark, Tasha inwardly growled when she came face-to-face with none other than Ima and her best attempt at a wide-eyed and innocent look. She supposed her floaty dress with its pretty floral print wasn't exactly in keeping with her surroundings, but - remembering all too well the hurt the bleached blonde had helped cause Tara - damned if she was going to give an inch to the notoriously toxic CaraCara princess.

"What can I say, Ima? Koz has a pretty good imagination and I guess the whole _hooker_ vibe is kinda, y'know - stale," Tasha smiled sweetly. "Anyway, I doubt Koz'll be thinking too much about the dress when it's lying on his floor tonight. Now, if you'll excuse me ..." And with that, she pushed past and left the porn star staring after her looking decidedly more petulant that she had been.

"Move. You're blocking the view."

Folding her arms across her chest, Tasha glared at Tig as she stood between him and the stripper pole which was very much in use. "Really? You think this is appropriate while Abel's missing?"

"You really think that's your call? You don't like it – you know where the door is."

Opening her mouth to say something, Tasha closed it again with a shake of her head, deciding not to waste her breath. "Where's Kozik?"

"He ain't here?" Much like Ima, Tig feigned innocence as he made a show of scanning the clubhouse. Much like Ima, it wasn't a look that sat well on him. "Gee, he was right over there - with that new bitch who's been givin' him the eye lately. You know the one? Redhead, legs that'd wrap round a guy twice ..." Tig added in appreciation, before he deliberately trailed off. "Damn, maybe I've said too much ..."

"You're talking shit, Tig."

"How do you know?" the sergeant sneered, at least too laid-back at that moment to take further action over the insult.

"Your lips are moving," Tasha said, not hanging around to wait for a response. Instead, hurrying in the direction of the dorms – at least until a familiar figure in the corner caught her attention. Kozik. Sat across a table from, presumably, the redhead Tig had been talking about – a croweater currently trying to give him a sneak preview of what was on offer, as she crossed her legs Basic Instinct style while he simply played absently with the label on his bottle of Bud. The chick was no Sharon Stone ...

"What's up – not enjoying the view?" Tasha smiled as the bored expression on her boyfriend's face melted into something like relief, his head snapping round at the sound of her voice.

"I am now, darlin' ..." he drawled, eyes firmly on her. Much to the disapproval of his new _friend_ ...

"Hey, I was here first, sweetie," the redhead scowled. "So you and your ... cutesy little outfit can toddle on. Me and Kozik are just getting to know each other ..."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Tasha apologised brightly. "How rude of me - I'll leave you to it. After all, you're new in town, right? So Kozik here has a lot to tell you about - how he used to be a Marine, how he joined the Sons ... Oh, Koz, you'll have to tell her about that time you got engaged! Did you know he's got a fiancée? Yeah, he does ... Blonde, about yea high, has a ring just like this one ... Oh, you're leaving – was it something I said?"

Kozik laughed and shook his head, watching the croweater flounce off before turning his attention back to his girl. Reaching for her hand to pull her onto his lap and into a heated kiss. "Hey, baby."

"Mmm ... hi, handsome," she smiled, resting her forehead against his. "Did I spoil your fun?"

"Fuck no! Man, that's one pushy broad ..."

"I noticed. God, I can't wait for Gemma to get back – someone needs to keep these chicks in line," Tasha sighed, looking down at her dress with a pout as she settled her arms around Kozik's shoulders. "I _like_ this dress ..."

"Hey, I like it too. Ya look cute as hell, doll – 'course it would look better on my floor ..."

"Funny, I kinda told Ima pretty much the same thing."

"Ima? What you doin' with that bitch?"

"Oh, nothing – she just obviously didn't learn anything from that slap Lyla gave her. I think she's looking for someone else to rub up on now Jax isn't around," Tasha rolled her eyes.

"And she's got you in mind? Could be hot ..." Kozik smirked, quickly holding his hands up when his girlfriend's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Kidding! And darlin', you know you got nothin' to worry about with Ima – I wouldn't nail that skank with someone else's dick."

"Good to know," Tasha grinned. "'Cause forget a slap – she tries getting her claws into you, I'm gonna bury one of her ugly-ass stilettos in her forehead ..."

"Damn, girl – you know I love it when you get all feisty!" Kozik growled, with an appreciative look that flicked discretely over her before he leaned in for another kiss. One hand sliding to her stomach as his mouth claimed hers - something she allowed herself to relish as she kissed him back, before gently pushing his hand away with a quick glance to check no one had noticed.

"Just three more weeks," she whispered, laughing softly and running her fingers through his hair when he melodramatically dropped his head on her shoulder with a little groan.

"Three more weeks ..."

* * *

**to be continued ... **


	10. ten

**ten.**

Waking up to Tasha sleeping peacefully on his chest, Kozik yawned and rubbed a hand sleepily over his unshaven jaw, a little smile tugging at his lips to see his girl so relaxed. He really wanted to get settled into their new home sooner rather than later – she deserved better than spending her nights in a clubhouse dormroom, especially with a baby on the way.

But at least despite the wild turn things had taken out by the bar, he'd been able to steal her away to the relative sanctity of his room. Making love to her before letting her fall asleep in his arms.

Now he brushed her hair back from her face before letting his fingers drift up and down her bare back, tracing the line of her spine. "Mornin', beautiful," he murmured, as her eyes flickered open and she snuggled closer to him.

"Mmm, hi ..." she whispered, turning her head to press her lips to his neck and smiling as his hand slid over her stomach. "What time is it?"

"No idea. Early, I think – it's all quiet out there. How's my baby doin'?"

"Just fine," she assured him, covering his hand with her own before sitting up wrapped in the sheets. "Making mamma thirsty though – I'm gonna go grab some oj. You want anything?"

"I'll come join ya in a sec, doll – gotta take a leak," Kozik groaned, as he clambered out of bed and into his boxers. Scooping his Sons of Anarchy t-shirt off the floor and tossing it to his girlfriend to wear.

Pulling the soft material over her head and raking a hand through her hair, Tasha slipped out of bed and found a pair of flip-flops to wear before padding out to the kitchen. No way was she walking barefoot through the clubhouse the morning after a SAMCRO party ... Morning sickness was making her queasy enough without the thought of stepping in god knows what.

The place was deserted though – littered with beer bottles, but otherwise abandoned. The visiting Sons and croweaters evidently having taken advantage of the free rooms. All, it seemed, but Ima.

Perched on a stool in the kitchen smoking a joint, she was hardly a vision in the cold light of day. Her blonde extensions bedraggled and last night's make-up still caked around her eyes. The impossibly low-cut top and micro-mini skirt looking ridiculously out of place at the breakfast bar – rather than at the bar of some seedy strip joint.

"Why don't you take a picture – it'll last longer," the porn star glowered. Even though Tasha had barely spared her a glance as she crossed the kitchen to grab a glass and a carton of orange juice from the fridge.

"What's the matter, Ima? No one interested in your _charms_? Maybe you need to lower your prices ..."

"You stuck-up bitch," she hissed, standing to totter across the tiled floor on her stiletto heels. "You think you're so much better than everyone else!"

"Not everyone – just _you_," Tasha declared, slamming the fridge door shut and turning to face her adversary. "You know what, I'm sick of you swanning around here acting like you own the place! You think if Gemma was here you'd get away with stepping out of line all the time?"

"Out of line? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I don't have to _think_ anything! I know exactly who I am – the old lady of a club sergeant. And you're nothing but a slut-"

But Tasha cut off with a little yelp of pain as the porn star, flushed with anger, shoved her hard into the table. Her glass shattering as it hit the floor ...

* * *

Just as Ima reached for her target, a hand fisted in her long hair and it was her turn to cry out as she was dragged away.

"What the fuck did you do?" Kozik demanded furiously, jerking her head back painfully. He'd witnessed plenty of violence in his time, dished out even more of his own. But walking into the kitchen just in time to see the mother of his unborn baby crash into the table she was now leaning heavily on, after everything she'd been through ... It made him feel physically sick. "You stupid little bitch!" he snarled in Ima's face, turning her pale beneath her make-up as she realised that, this time, she really had over-stepped her boundaries.

"It was just a little push ..." she tried. "I didn't mean-"

"You don't fucking move – I ain't done with you," he warned, letting her go to turn his attention to his girl. The hard look on his face softening into concern as he reached out to rub her back gently. "Tash? You okay, baby?"

Taking a deep breath, she nodded as she tentatively straightened up. A trembling hand on his arm to reassure him, knowing what had been foremost in both their minds. "I'm okay, Koz – honest," she said, not wanting Ima of all people knowing their business, but hoping the look in her eyes would let him know not to worry. Or say too much.

And sure enough, after casting one searching look over her and leaning in to press a relieved kiss to her forehead, Kozik turned back to the woman who – for all her front – hadn't dared move an inch.

"Ima ..." he smiled dangerously. Slowly stepping towards her, intense blue eyes narrowing as she tried to back away – only to find herself slammed up against the wall. His hand wrapped around her throat tight enough to make her choke. "Something wrong? I thought you wanted my hands on you ..." he sneered. "And trust me, this is the only way it's gonna happen."

"Kozik, please ..." she gasped, wide-eyed and struggling to get away.

"You want to push up on Jax, disrespect his old lady, that's his business – but I'm telling you now, you stay the hell away from Tash. Everyone round here knows you're only good for sucking dick – lay so much as a finger on my old lady again and I'll make sure you ain't even good for that," he growled, his hand tightening around the frightened porn star's throat before he finally pushed her roughly aside. "Get the fuck out of here."

He didn't even watch her go.

* * *

"Well, I just hope that cow learns her lesson," Tara said firmly, as Tasha finished recounting what had happened that morning to prompt Kozik to insist she got out of the clubhouse for a relaxing dinner with her friend. Burgers and milkshakes at a tiny little diner proving just what the doctor ordered – literally.

"You should have seen Koz's face though," Tasha sighed. "Yeah, he was furious with her – but he was so worried too. I felt so stupid for letting her get to me. If anything had happened ..."

"Hey, it wasn't your fault," the doctor frowned. "This is all on her. And you don't have to tell _me_ how she gets under your skin. It's about time someone put her in her place."

"I guess ..." Tasha nodded, trailing off as she heard a beeping sound coming from Tara's bag. "Anything important?"

"Damn ... Yeah, it kinda is," the brunette said, looking at her pager before tucking it away again. "Do you mind if we swing straight by the hospital before I drop you back?"

"Course not," Tasha shrugged as they reached the car, climbing into the passenger seat and pulling out her own cellphone. "I'll call Koz and tell him not to panic if I'm late ..."

* * *

Kicking the flat tyre of her car in frustration, Tara ran a hand through her dark hair and groaned. "Can you believe this? And I don't even have a spare ... Someone up there must really be screwing with us today!"

"Listen, don't worry, I can call Kozik – get him to bring the pick-up truck. And trust me ..." Tasha smiled soothingly, patting her stomach. "With this little 'un on board, he'll get here in record time."

Never thinking to question how the tyre that had been fine when they arrived at the hospital could be flat by the time Tara had finished seeing one of her patients, the two women were more concerned about getting home. Late as it was.

Fishing in her bag for her cellphone, Tasha looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching across the poorly lit parking lot.

"Having car trouble? I could give you girls a lift ..."

"Oh, you don't have to ..." Tara managed, more than a little a little taken aback by the offer from her supervisor. They'd never exactly been on what could be called friendly terms, to say the least. The very least.

"It is probably out of your way," Tasha added, seeing how uncomfortable the doctor looked when faced with the prospect of car-sharing with the redhead.

"Hardly at all," Margaret said. "Please, it seems silly me leaving you here to wait for a lift when I'm going the same way – it's no trouble at all."

Glancing at Tasha, who simply shrugged as if to say it was her call, Tara realised a flat-out refusal would only seem petty and rude. Although she wondered if the laid-back blonde would be so unfazed by the prospect, if she'd known about the reaction of their unlikely rescuer to the news of her pregnancy.

"I guess a lift would be good," Tara admitted. "Thanks – it's good of you."

"Like I said, it's no trouble. Come on, car's over here ..."

Nudging each other as they followed the supervisor, the pair silently squabbled over who'd have to sit in the front before Tasha held her hands up in defeat with a barely stifled giggle ...

* * *

"This is a nice car," Tasha said politely, making a desperate attempt to break the uncomfortable silence that had descended as soon as they pulled away from the hospital and had lasted ever since.

"Thank you – it gets me from A to B," Margaret smiled, glancing in her rear-view mirror. Opening her mouth to say something when they were suddenly shunted forward, something having crashed into the back of them. "Dammit ... What was that?"

Pulling over and shutting off the engine, she got out of the car to assess the situation. The girls joining her, only to see another car pulled up behind.

"I'm so sorry – I don't know what happened ..." a dark haired woman apologised as she approached. "Is there much damage? I really am so sorry. It was so careless ..."

"Doesn't seem like there's any real harm done," Margaret said, leaning over to look at the bumper and running a hand over the barely scratched paintwork.

"Hey, I know you – you're Jax Teller's girl, aren't you?" the woman said, suddenly turning in Tara's direction. Catching the doctor off guard.

"Uh ... who are you?" she asked warily. Knowing better after all this time than to talk freely to a stranger. A precaution that proved justified when the woman - and a man who'd been in the car - both pulled guns on them.

"I'm his girl ..."

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	11. eleven

**A/N: Apologies for the massive delay in updates - to be honest, I struggled with this because I never really intended to follow the actual tv events too closely and I have to admit, I've strayed closer than I meant to with the Salazar thing and I'm not really happy about it ... So, I should point out that, while the plot kind of echoes what happened in the show, it's not intended to be a transcription just with Tasha thrown into the mix - events, outcomes, etc that featured in the show will have no real bearing on how they'll pan out here. Thanks for sticking with this!**

* * *

**eleven.**

From his seat at the table, Piney watched as the Tacoma sergeant paced the floor like a caged animal and heaved a fresh sigh of his own as he readjusted his oxygen tank.

"Listen, son," the older man tried patiently. "I know how fucked up it is to see our club's women takin' heat for us - believe me, I know. But we've weathered worse storms than this ... We will get through it. You gotta keep your head together. Sit. Help us figure this shit out."

"What the hell use is sittin' on our asses talkin' when we need to get the fuck out there and _find_ them!"

"Goddamn it, Koz - calm down! We'll deal with-"

"Tash is pregnant!" Kozik all but yelled, slamming a hand down on the table and effectively silencing everyone in the room. His voice dropping in despair. "She's _pregnant_, okay? That's why I'm going out of my fucking mind – if anything happens to her, to the baby ..."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Tig rolled his eyes to the ceiling as if in silent prayer for strength. "We'll get her back, okay? We'll get 'em both back. And we'll kill the bastards who thought they could mess with what's ours."

It was an unexpected source of support, perhaps making it all the more effective at getting the desperate father-to-be to sink down at the table with his head in his hands. "I nearly lost her once before – I can't go through that again," Kozik admitted, his voice rough with barely contained emotion.

"And it ain't gonna come to that," Piney said, clapping a heavy hand on his shoulder. Just as the ringing phone cut through the tension. "No!" he barked sharply, grabbing the receiver before the younger man could reach it. Glancing round at his brothers as he answered the call.

"They're still alive. For now ..." came the taunting voice from the other end of the line, prompting a barely contained growl from the veteran Son. "Thought about our deal?"

"Salazar ... We want to speak to the girls first."

"That's not the deal-"

"It ain't a fucking request – put them on the damn phone, you chicken-shit little bastard!"

"You need to remember who's callin' the shots here, old man ..." But after some kind of fumbling on the line, it seemed the phone was passed over.

"H-Hello?"

"Tara? Sweetheart, it's Piney – how you holdin' up?" he asked, waving irritably at Kozik to stop him as he tried to reach for the receiver again. "Listen, you girls try to stay calm – we're gonna fix this, okay?"

But before she could say more than a few words, which let him know little more than the fact they were all still alive, the phone appeared to be wrenched from her hand and Piney growled but bit back the furious response.

"Now the blonde," he demanded instead. "Her old man's right here – let him speak to her. Prove she's okay."

"I said she was alive, didn't I?"

"Your word don't mean jack-shit!" Kozik yelled, over-hearing the comment and finally grabbing the receiver. Only to be interrupted by a soft, familiar voice. "Tash!" he gasped. "Baby, it's me – are you okay?"

"I'm ... I'm o-okay," came the tearful reply that wrenched at his heart. He hated to hear the fear in her voice. "Oh Koz, I'm sorry ..."

"Hey, this ain't your fault, baby girl," he soothed, closing his eyes against the frustration of not being able to make this all go away for her. Of not being able to take her in his arms and make her feel safe again. "It's gonna be okay, Tash – I promise. You gotta stay strong for me, darlin' ... I love you."

"I love you too, Koz," she whispered. "I-"

"Time's up," Salazar's voice interrupted. "You know what needs to be done."

With a roar of frustration, Kozik slammed the phone down and kicked over a chair as he stormed out of the clubhouse.

* * *

"You bastard!" Tasha yelled, frustration boiling over as the phone – her only connection to the man she loved - was snatched away out of her painfully bound hands. "You can't fucking keep us here like this!"

"You think anyone cares about you MC bitches?" Salazar hissed. "Outside of your little boyfriends, ain't no one even gonna come looking."

"You're full of shit – she's a goddamn _hospital administrator_," the blonde argued heatedly, pointing to where Margaret sat – her tear-stained face horrified that the younger woman would think of speaking to their captors so aggressively. "She's nothing to do with the Sons and when she doesn't turn up for work, people are gonna ask questions. And Tara's a _doctor_, not some cheap hangaround ..." Tasha added, firing a scathing look in the direction of Salazar's own old lady.

"You watch your mouth, bitch," the dark-haired woman spat, even as her man dealt out a brutal slap that sent Tasha's head reeling to one side under the force of the blow. Making her fellow captives gasp as she straightened up and shook her hair back from her stinging face. The metallic taste of blood in her mouth.

"What you gotta say for yourself now, _bitch_?" Salazar sneered.

Determined not to show any more sign of fear or weakness, the little blonde met her captor's dark gaze with unwavering green eyes filled with hate. Raising her tied hands to touch her lip, her fingers coming away bloody.

"My old man's going to kill you," she said evenly. "When he sees-"

But she was cut off as he dealt her another swift slap, one that caught her off balance and sent her falling to the floor. He reached for her long hair and hauled her upright again, only to backhand her sharply though. His rings splitting her cheek open and making her cry out.

"Well, look at that. Looks like your boy ain't around to do nothin' about it ..."

Raising his boot to kick her, Salazar took a swing, the screams from the girl's companions throwing him just enough to see the blow glance off her side – rather than catching her square in the stomach as he'd intended.

"No, _please_!" Tasha pleaded, all bravado gone and tears coursing down her cheeks as she tried to shield herself. "Please not that – I'm pregnant!"

"She really is pregnant," Tara spoke up frantically. "Please, don't hurt the baby."

Glaring round at them, Salazar growled impatiently and then turned on his heel to head for the door. "I ain't got time for this shit – Luisa, make sure they stay locked up. I'm going to make sure the Sons are taking this seriously ..."

And then he was gone. Luisa dragging Tasha roughly, back to her place beside the other two women. Smirking as the doctor pulled her friend close, trying to comfort her as best she could with her hands still tied.

That would teach them to keep their mouths shut.

* * *

"Goddamn it, Tig – we have to at least try!"

"This is the Mayans we're talking about, dumbass. You really want to go throw yourself on their mercy? You think they give a shit about your girl? Or Jax's?"

But Kozik held his ground. At this point, he didn't care what anyone thought of him. Let alone a man who hated him anyway. "What other choice do we have? Kill Alvarez and start a blood war? Listen to me, Alvarez has family. He'll get it. And I don't care if I have to get on my knees and beg him, I'll do it. I got too much to loss not to try."

"Fine," Tig scowled. "Just don't expect me to go charging off to rescue your girl when you end up with a bullet in that empty skull of yours."

"So that's settled," Piney nodded. "We go see Alvarez and nicely ask the wetback to play dead for a while. Holy shit, I'm gettin' too old for this crap."

"What do we tell Jax?"

"Nothin'," Tig insisted, pointing a finger in Kozik's face. "You say _nothin'_. You don't think he's got enough on his plate with the kid missing?"

"I'm just sayin' ... If I was in Belfast and somethin' happened to Tash, I wanna know."

"And a helluva lot of use you'd be thousands of miles away. We handle this, you get me? And if it don't work out with Alvarez ..."

The three men exchanged looks around the table at that thought. Knowing that if they wanted to keep the women safe, that just wasn't an option. If Alvarez didn't play ball, they wouldn't have to tell Jax his girl had disappeared. They were pretty sure she'd turn up by then – dead. And Kozik's girl along with her.

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	12. twelve

**A/N: Massive apologies for the delay on this - feedback would be much appreciated and thank you if you've stuck with this!**

**twelve.**

"So lemme get this straight ..."

Three pairs of eyes lifted to look at their captor as he crouched down opposite them, cocking his head on one side thoughtfully. The gun still in his hand, but down by his side rather than trained on them. He was almost as tired as they were by now – not to mention wired with nerves and frustrated by how long everything was taking.

"Teller's gone to Ireland 'cause he's lost his boy and don't even know he's lost you ... and your man's still here, but he's managed to lose his woman and his kid in one tight little package. And they say blondes have more fun," Salazar sneered. "Although who knows? Maybe I'm doin' your boys a favour – cutting the strings, huh? Cutting them loose ..."

But Tasha simply laughed humourlessly, her throat feeling raw from the lack of water. "You picked the wrong girl to try that shit on," she told him straight. "Maybe that's how you play that little lapdog of yours, keep her thinking she means something when she doesn't. But I _know_ Kozik loves me and nothing you say will ever make me doubt him."

A look of anger crossed his face at her tone, but he bit back on it. For now. Shifting his gaze to the ground and forcing a laugh, with a little shake of his head before he changed tack. "That so?"

Suddenly he was looking back at her again, steely-eyed. "And what if I made him choose?"

"W-What?" Tasha was thrown by the question, not following where he was going with this.

"You heard me. If you're such a smart bitch, what if I made him choose? What if I said only one of you was going to walk away from this?" Salazar got up and stalked towards Margaret, making her cower in fear as he cruelly jabbed the barrel of the gun in her face. "This bitch'd be as good as dead, for a start. Ain't no one gonna come ridin' to your rescue, lady. But what about you two?"

And suddenly, with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Tasha knew exactly what he was trying to do – tear the club apart from the inside. Worse than that, she feared it just might work.

"Two club women," Salazar continued, in that knowing tone of voice. The one that posed a question, yet suggested he already knew the answer. "One dies, the other lives. Who's it going to be? The little prince's long-time love ... or the trusty sergeant's baby mama?"

And it seemed the doctor was quickly catching up, horror in her eyes as she glanced at her friend. "No! They'd never play your sick game ..."

That set him off again – the gun shoved roughly against her temple and making her cry out, as his eyes flashed dangerously. "When are you gonna get it in your stupid head that _I'm_ calling the shots round here?" he demanded, getting in Tara's face and grabbing her by the throat even as she tried to back-track.

Pushing her aside and ignoring the fresh tears streaming down her dust-streaked face, he let out a roar of frustration as he went back to pacing the room like a caged animal. "You think about it!" he shouted, gesturing wildly with the gun. All three women terrified it would go off, even without him meaning for it to happen. Then all at once, the fight went out of him and he crouched down in front of Tasha with a look of sympathy that was taunting in its insincerity.

"She's the future president's old lady," he said, as if he was talking to a small child. Nodding his head towards Tara and letting the cold steel of the gun caress Tasha's cheek, even as she tried to shy away. "What chance do you have, huh? Who's going to speak up for you against Teller? Against Big Daddy Clay?"

The little blonde's head dropped in defeat, her eyes closing but unable to keep back tears at the thought of how that would play out. If Sam Crow was asked to choose. Kozik – her gorgeous, loving Kozik – he would try. She didn't doubt his loyalty to the club, to his brothers. But for her, for their baby ... he would try. Even if it meant dying in the process.

And if they thought he was risking Tara's life, that was exactly how it would end. With one of his own brothers putting a bullet in his chest. That was what Salazar had been depending on all along.

The Sons of Anarchy fractured beyond redemption, brother turned on brother. Why would the Calaveras try to take on the might of a much stronger MC, when they could simply set the wheels in motion and then sit back while it imploded?

If it came down to a choice, she would always be Kozik's – and Jax would always out-rank him.

"They won't let it come to that," Tasha whispered. But not even she sounded convinced.

* * *

"Jesus Christ," Kozik swore, finding himself at the business end of both a pistol and a shotgun and wondering just why he'd ever thought this was a good idea. He couldn't let that show though – not when he'd pushed so hard to get the others on board. Not when even Tig had come around to his way of thinking.

Stood outside Marcus Alvarez's home, as both the Mayan leader and his old lady stared them down, the blonde biker took a deep breath and stepped forward. His hands in the air, Glock pointing skywards. Slowly taking his finger off the trigger when nobody moved.

"Look, everyone just wait a minute. We're not here to cause trouble," he tried earnestly, tucking his gun inside his cut in what he hoped was an effective show of good faith. Gesturing to Tig and Piney to do the same and feeling glad they'd left the prospects in the van. Those two twitchy little bastards would probably have acted first, thought second, but ended up dead somewhere in between – dragging them all down with them. "We just need to talk to you."

But while it fell to Tig to explain Salazar's betrayal, Kozik's gaze drifted to the tiny baby crying in her father's arms. A stark reminder of exactly what was at stake. And what he'd already lost. And watching as Alvarez handed the baby over to her mother and sent them safely inside, he could tell he was far from convinced that he should play ball.

Sending their chances slipping ever further out of reach.

"You know what I could do to you? Coming here, to my home – the place where my family is?" their unlikely host was demanding of Piney as the old man glared at him. Too set in his ways to like this having to play nice thing one little bit.

Kozik took a step forward again, despite the gun shifting to level on him. Still hearing the baby's soft cries from just inside the door. "Please," he said. "I get it – we shouldn't have come here and I'm sorry we upset your family. But I'm only doin' this for _my_ family and for Jax's and I wouldn't ask if we weren't desperate.

"Jax's son is already missing and the thought of him losing the girl he loves ... we can't let it happen."

"And your girl?" Alvarez asked curiously, evidently deciding to at least hear him out and lowering the gun just a little. The lost look in the bright blue eyes trained on him not going unnoticed.

"She's already been through hell and she's ... she's carrying my baby," Kozik said quietly, his fists clenched helplessly by his sides. "You got any idea what that feels like - knowing I knocked her up and then let her get taken? That she could die because of me? Look, you're the only shot we got at saving them – so I'm asking you man to man, as a _father_ ... help me save my family. Please."

Dark eyes narrowing just a little as he considered the sincerity of the long-time enemy in front of him, Alvarez glanced back towards the mother of his own children. Put himself in this man's shoes and wondered if he would have the guts to stare down the barrel of Clay Morrow's gun if the tables were turned. But all it really took was one look in his youngest daughter's innocent face and he had his answer.

In a heartbeat.

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	13. thirteen

**A/N: Unlucky chapter thirteen - but unlucky for who ...?**

**thirteen.**

Shifting painfully on the hard floor, Tara tried to brush a lock of her dark hair out of her eyes with her bound hands, tilting her head back against the wall in despair. Her lips were so dry and she felt light-headed from hunger – she could only imagine how weak Tasha was, given her condition. "Please," she said, forced to speak out. "Can we at least have some water? We're no good to you as leverage if we die of thirst."

"What, do I look like one of your damn croweaters, huh? You think you can just order me around?" Luisa scoffed. But after a jerk of her old man's head, she did disappear only to return with one small bottle of water. Tossing it to Tara and laughing to see her struggle with the screw cap, still tied up as she was.

Watching as Margaret held the bottle still while the doctor managed to open it, Salazar scowled in their direction. "You better make the most of her while you can," he spat, gesturing towards Margaret with the gun.

Glaring back at their captors, Tara turned her back on them, concentrating on holding the bottle to Tasha's lips. Letting the weakest of the three women drink first before passing the water to Margaret. Waiting until the older woman was distracted before leaning in close to the blonde. "We have to find a way to get her out of here," she whispered. "They've already decided she's not worth anything to them – they're not going to keep her alive much longer."

"Probably not," Tasha managed to nod. "But if they let her go ..."

"What?" Tara urged, keeping an eye on what was happening as they spoke in hushed tones.

"Just speeds up the process," Tasha shrugged finally, finding it hard to hold on to any fighting spirit in the face of such bleakness. She was the kind of tired that seeped right into your muscles and had a dull, but insistent pain in her abdomen that made her heart ache in fear. She just wanted to close her eyes, arms around her stomach, and curl up to wait for the inevitable.

Staring wide-eyed at the teacher, Tara was at first lost for words. And then she imagined Gemma hearing this and her jaw clenched in anger. "Baby or no baby, Kozik would slap the shit outta you if he heard you now!" she hissed, her voice still low but beyond fierce. "You're just going to sit here and give up? While he's out there fighting for you?"

"Fighting who though, huh, Tara? _Jax?_" Tasha demanded, fresh spark in her tone at the thought of her man. The volume starting to creep up. "Easy to get on your fucking high horse when you know _you're_ not gonna be the one biting the dust!"

"Keep your goddamn voice down ..." Tara started, a worried frown knitting her brows as she looked up to see if they were attracting attention. And sure enough, Luisa had already nudged her old man and pointed towards them.

"Girls," Margaret tried in alarm. "We need to stick together, we can't-"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Tara – am I spoiling your little plan?" Tasha all but snarled, somehow forcing herself to her feet. "You playing the nice, caring doctor to save _her_ and then feeding _me_ to the fucking lions! Anything to save your own damn skin!"

"You back-stabbing bitch ..." Tara hauled back, intending to hit the other young woman with her bound fists – but not getting in quick enough for Tasha. The blonde catching her off guard with a blow of her own and sending her sprawling.

Luisa made to intervene, swearing below her breath, but Salazar's arm stopped her. "Let them fight," he grinned. "What do we care if they hurt each other? And if it means they're in no shape to give us trouble, so much the better."

"You have to stop them!" Margaret gasped, shocked by the venom the two friends were aiming at each other. "Tara, stop – can't you see that's what they want!"

"Koz will never let Jax win this," Tasha was yelling, as one of Tara's hands was suddenly free of its binding and buried in her long tangled locks. "Let go of me, bitch!"

"He'll never let them choose some club _slut_ over me!" the doctor fired back, dragging her opponent's head painfully downwards and making her cry out in pain.

"Please, please don't ... Tara!" Margaret sobbed in horror. "Do something – they're going to really hurt each other!"

Suddenly aware that if the pair did actually do some serious damage – particularly a risk given that one of them was pregnant – his leverage really would be shot to shit, Salazar barked out an order for them to stop. Sending Luisa to do his dirty work while he fumbled for his gun.

But the shriek of agony that rang out as she moved to grab the warring old ladies came from neither Tasha nor Tara ...

Quick as a flash, the doctor had let go her hold on the blonde, allowing Tasha to grab Luisa's arms even as Tara's hand flew upwards. The very shard of glass that she'd secretly been cutting both their ropes with now slashing across the Latina's slim throat, spraying all of them with the damp heat of her blood.

"You fucking bitches!" Salazar howled in anguish, stunned by the sight of his own old lady clutching at the tatters of her neck as she choked and gasped for air. Crumpling to the ground, only to be hauled upright by a grim-faced Tasha so that her accomplice could keep the thick shard of glass pointed at her throat – both women united as they stared down the barrel of his gun.

"Drop it!" he yelled furiously. "Fuck, I said drop it!"

"No," Tara shook her head firmly. "_You_ drop it. Because you can only shoot one of us at a time and I swear to god, you pull that trigger and one way or another, this is getting jammed in her windpipe. You need us to keep her alive."

The hand holding the gun was shaking, much more than Tara's was. "She can't die," Salazar moaned. "She can't."

"Then you let her go," Tara said, nodding towards a still wide-eyed Margaret. The hospital administrator not sure what shocked her more – the audacity of the plan or the fact that the two pretty young women had executed it with such ruthless precision. "She's nothing to the Sons – she gets to leave."

"If ... If anyone gets to leave, it should be Tasha," Margaret tried softly. "The baby ..."

"Thank you," Tasha said, half turning towards her and forcing a faint glimmer of a smile. One that didn't reach her eyes. "But Tara's right – he's never going to let either of us just walk. You go, while you have the chance." Reaching to pluck the gun from where it was tucked in the back of Lucia's jeans, she checked it was still loaded and pressed it into the older woman's hands. "Safety back, pull the trigger," she explained. "If he goes back on this, shoot him. Aim for the chest – biggest target."

"Just get the hell out!" Salazar yelled frantically. "You two, don't just stand there - help my Luisa!"

And exchanging glances with the others, Tara gently pushed Margaret towards the stairs before turning her attention to her self-made patient. "I'm gonna need some gauze ..."

* * *

Maybe they'd gotten cocky. On a high from actually earning the cooperation of Alvarez and bolstered by the support of ATF when it came to the financial side of things, they'd started to believe they could actually turn this shit around.

Should have known better.

"Never should have let that Stahl gash get involved," Tig muttered, more to himself than anyone else. Not that anyone was listening anyway - not with Piney still in talks with Unser and the Tacoma sergeant slumped in the corner, looking damn near ready to eat his own gun.

And no wonder. With their bid to meet Salazar's ransom demands knocked on its ass and the kidnapper now thinking they'd grassed to the feds, the poor bastard had to be finding it increasingly hard to kid himself that knocked up bitch of his was coming back in anything other than a bodybag.

It was starting to seem like little mini Koziks just weren't meant to be ... Doing the world a favour, Tig would have said - if only his nemesis of the last eight years didn't look so completely and utterly miserable.

"I can't give up on her," Kozik said quietly, not looking up from the floor. "I'm always lettin' her down, man."

"Then pull your head outta your fucking ass and do somethin' about it." Sympathy never had been his bag. "I gotta go call Belfast – see if their havin' any better luck than us."

But turning on his heel to head for the quiet of Clay's office, Tig stopped in his tracks. His back to Kozik. "Look, it ain't over 'til it's over," he said awkwardly, his voice harsh in a bid to cover. "You remember that."

Taken aback, Kozik looked up to find himself staring at the reaper on his counterpart's back - wondering if he'd really heard what he thought he had. Remembering back to a time when they'd been the closest of brothers and finding his voice as the curly-haired sergeant made to leave. "Yo, Tig ... Thanks, man."

"Whatever. Don't mean you can cry on my shoulder."

* * *

Clambering out of the van, Jax looked around the compound with a sigh. It wasn't the glorious homecoming they'd all longed for – jumping, yet again, straight from one shit-storm to another.

Taking a second to ensure Abel - safe and secure in his Moses basket – was passed carefully to Gemma, he turned to greet Tig warmly. Grateful for his sergeant's efforts while he'd been out of the country. "Any news?" he asked, accepting the strong one-armed hug from the man he'd had plenty of differences with in the not too distant past.

"Nah," Tig shook his head. "Unser said he'd let us know if he heard anything. I'm sorry, man."

Patting him on the back, Jax moved on with a curt nod. Not trusting himself to speak and instead seeking out the one man who knew exactly what he was going through. "Kozik ... How you holdin' up, dude?"

"Surviving, I guess. You?"

"Startin' to think someone up there's got it in for me," Jax admitted as they hugged fiercely, the rest of the club not wanting to crowd them but close at hand in a show of support.

"Good news about Abel," Kozik drew back and forced a smile. "The little guy okay?"

"He's perfect, just perfect. But listen, bro – we're gonna do whatever it takes to make this right. Just like we got Abel, we're gonna get the girls back," the vice president swore, a grim look hardening his face. Wiping out the boyish quality it still usually held. "And we're gonna _kill_ the piece of shit who took 'em. You with me?"

"Hundred percent," came the sure response, Kozik's hopes bolstered by the backing of his brothers and the two men clasping hands firmly. A pact of sorts before they headed to the table.

* * *

Closing her eyes against the image of that pretty young woman being beaten to death by the roadside, Tara swallowed the sob that rose in her throat and the guilt that went with it. She'd been the one to flag down the car, knowing the fate that awaited the unsuspecting Latina behind the wheel.

She was a doctor, she was supposed to save lives – not take them. And now two women were dead because of her.

But what choice had she had? Crazed with grief when she confessed that Luisa had died in her arms, Salazar had rounded on Tasha in his fury. Forcing Tara to do as he ordered by slamming the pregnant blonde into the hood of his car and screaming threats of everything from rape to torture at her, only letting up on his terrified target when Tara fell to her knees and pleaded for him to stop with tears streaming down her face.

So she'd obeyed him. Playing the innocent break-down victim and hating herself the entire time. All she could think was how Gemma had been trapped by such a ruse, how the poor woman in the car had done nothing wrong, how her family would feel when she didn't come home.

That she'd as good as killed her herself, even if Salazar was the one wielding the crowbar while she and Tasha cowered behind the car. Their fingers gripping each others' tightly as they listened to the sickening thuds of metal on mere flesh and fragile bone. Flinching with every blow.

Wondering if they were next.

* * *

**to be continued ...**

**A/N: Just a quick note to say the next chapter will, for good or bad, resolve the Salazar issue. Stay tuned!**


	14. fourteen

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the massive delays with this and Ink - believe me, I'm way more frustrated than you guys! I'm still having major technology issues, which aren't resolved yet - but I'm definitely not abandoning anything and even when I can't post, I'm still writing. Thanks so much for sticking with this and, as always, I'd love to hear what you think. I could definitely do with some reviews to brighten my day/week/month! ;)  
**

**fourteen.**

Walking through the clubhouse with her grandson in her arms, Gemma simply drank in the familiar surroundings. Determined to make the most of every second of being back home – but cursing the fact that every time she thought she'd put all the pieces of her family back together, some asshole seemed to come along determined to wreck it.

Fond as she'd become of Tara, the doctor was a grown woman. Gemma wanted her back where she belonged, of course she did - didn't want her son to have to deal with any more shit. But her priority was and always would be the baby boy currently content to grab for her necklace, trying to put it in his mouth.

She couldn't ignore the hunched-over figure sitting at a table in the corner though, head in his hands and an untouched beer in front of him. The club was family, had been and always would.

Families looked out for each other. If you didn't have that, you had nothing.

"How you doin', baby?"

"Oh hey, Gem," Kozik said, glancing up and pushing out a seat for her. Just wanting to be left alone, but knowing better than to disrespect the SAMCRO queen. "Just feelin' pretty goddamn useless, I guess. How's this little guy?"

"See for yourself," she shrugged, passing over the baby who went willingly to the new person. Maybe it was the blond hair. Maybe the Tacoma sergeant was just unexpectedly good with kids.

"Hey, Abel," the biker said gruffly, holding him carefully under the arms as he let the baby's little feet stand on his denim-clad thigh. Bouncing him just a little and managing a ghost of a smile at the gurgled laughter he got in response, a wistful look in his blue eyes. "He's a good kid."

"Yeah. Although if he takes after his dad, he's gonna be a real holy terror," Gemma said, pursing her lips in a thoughtful smirk. "Still, better than following in his junkie mother's footsteps ..."

Sitting back to watch Kozik with her grandson, she lightly tapped one high-heeled boot against the leg of the table. "So, Tasha's pregnant, huh? Now we know what you two got up to while you were away. She must be what - eight, nine weeks?"

"Ten," he sighed. "We found out pretty early on. Came as a real shock too."

"Don't tell me I need to get Deacon to have that birds and the bees talk with you again?" Gemma asked wryly. "Just goes to show you though, when something's meant to be ... it don't matter a damn what those so-called experts have to say."

Considering that, one of Abel's tiny hands clutching his finger, Kozik was about to reply when the door of the clubhouse flew open and Chibs strode in.

"Good job yer gettin' some practice in, me boyo," the Scot hollered across the room. "C'mon, shift yersel' – we got a lead. Did ya hear me, man? Get yer ass in gear!"

"Go on then," Gemma urged, seeing the sergeant in a rare caught-off-guard moment and reaching over to take the baby from him. "Go bring your girl home."

* * *

"What's the latest?" Kozik demanded, pulling on his cut as he followed Chibs and hurried outside amid the sound of motorbikes being gunned to life in the yard. Tacoma bodies among the assembled Sons, having arrived the night before to support their brother in his hour of need.

"Unser came through – gave us a heads-up on a coupla bodies found dumped on the outskirts of town ..." the Scot started to explain, realising his mistake as soon as the blonde froze in his tracks. "Christ, man, no! It ain't the girls. Me and my bloody big mouth!

"Listen, one was Salazar's bitch with her throat cut, but it was the other one that gave us a lead. She's a nobody – no MC ties, nothin' - we reckon Salazar just killed her for her car. So Juice did a bit of digging, found all the details and put the make, model and plates out to every charter and every friend of the club we got."

"We get a hit?"

"Fuckin' A, man. One o' Alvarez's boys says he definitely saw the car, driver matched Salazar's description. And there were two girls in the back – one blonde, one brunette."

"Tash and Tara," Kozik breathed.

"Exactly," Chibs nodded. "We think the slippery wee bastard's runnin' out of options and actually moved them to one of the Calaveras' own bases. Accordin' to Alvarez, they got a safe-house they only use to bunker down when the heat's on. He's gettin' desperate, brutha."

"I just hope he don't get too fuckin' desperate ..." Kozik said grimly. "Do we know what the hell happened to Salazar's old lady?"

But the Scot simply shrugged as he climbed on his waiting bike. "Maybe she stepped outta line."

"If he can do that to his own girl ..." Kozik trailed off anxiously, before his face hardened and he headed for his own gleaming Harley. "Let's go take that piece of shit out once and for all."

"Aye, now yer talkin' my language, lad," Chibs grinned, fastening the strap of his helmet.

But first, Kozik stopped beside another bike and clapped its owner on the shoulder. "Hap, man, I need a favour and it's a pretty big ask ..."

* * *

Forcing the girls out of the car at gunpoint, Salazar's eyes were wild as he shoved them roughly towards the dilapidated building. He hadn't been thinking straight, bringing them here. No one outside the Calaveras was supposed to even know this place existed.

But it didn't matter.

It wasn't like they were ever going to walk away from this now, either of them.

"Are you out of your fucking mind? This wasn't in the plan!" one of his men practically spat as he hurried towards them.

"Shut your whining mouth and get them inside. Do it!" he barked, looking spooked as his gaze shifted from side to side. Almost expecting the Sons to appear from the shadows at any moment.

"What do we do with them?"

"Teller's bitch is mine," Salazar said, grabbing Tara by the arm and hauling her along with him. Her feet tripping over the uneven ground. "As for the blonde … She's no use to me now. Enjoy."

As she was declared surplus to requirements and their captor's men turned lecherous gazes on her, Tasha's eyes drifted closed in a moment's overwhelming horror. Guessing the fate that was to befall her, now she was no longer needed.

If it wasn't for the baby she hoped was still safe inside her, she'd almost rather they just killed her.

* * *

Bikes abandoned at a safe distance, not wanting their targets to know they were coming, a few of the Sons scouted ahead for a little re-con. Jax and Kozik insisting they were right there at the front, Tig, Happy and Juice with them for back-up.

"How we gonna know if the girls are in there?" Juice asked, his voice hushed.

"We ain't. Not for sure," Jax said grimly. "But there's the car they were spotted in ..."

"How do you wanna play this?" Tig asked, a deferential hand on his VP's shoulder. "It's your call, man."

Casting a glance at Kozik, the youngest of the men sighed. The weight of the world on his shoulders before he braced himself to bear it and whatever consequences they'd face as a result.

"We go in," Jax said, his face set like stone. "Hard. Not one of those fuckers gets out of this alive."

"I hear that, brother," Happy growled. The fact the families of two of his brothers were at stake was the only thing keeping that usual look off his face. That tell-tale little glint that suggested he relished the prospect of violence.

"Juice, go tell the others," Jax ordered. "We'll keep watch in case anyone comes out."

"On it, boss," the intelligence officer nodded briskly, taking off at a jog.

"Hang in there, man," Jax said, turning to Kozik and forcing a smile. "This is the home straight. Your girl'll be back in your bed tonight, where she belongs."

"I hope you're right, dude, I really do ..." the sergeant sighed.

* * *

Hot tears coursing down her dirt-streaked face, Tasha tried to bite back a cry as she was thrown against the wall again. Her shirt torn and already splattered with blood. Mostly Luisa's, but partly her own.

She had no idea if Tara was even alive. Last time she'd seen the doctor, Salazar had been dragging her towards what she assumed was a basement – while she had been hauled up three flights of rickety stairs by some of his gang.

"Little slut likes it rough," one of the Calaveras grinned, as he advanced on her. Only too happy to take the hands-on approach while some of his brothers hung back to watch the proceedings. For now.

Everything seemed to flash through Tasha's head in a split second.

Donna. Shot dead in a drive-by. Her family, her kids, left to pick up the pieces. Luann. Beaten to death and her body dumped. Her devastated husband left alone. Gemma. Even the seemingly untouchable matriarch almost broken by a brutal gang-rape. Her family struggling to deal, to get revenge.

Was she next? Hadn't she already had her turn at being the SAMCRO woman to suffer?

Remembering the searing pain she'd felt that night back on Rogue River turf made this pale into insignificance. But that look in Kozik's eyes … That was something she never wanted to see again.

The little blonde's hand drifted protectively to her stomach as she cringed back against the wall. Closing her eyes in revulsion as her latest captor's weight pressed against her, pinning her in place. His laboured breath on her neck and his calloused hands groping roughly at her.

"No!" she sobbed, despite her best efforts not to plead with him as it only urged him on.

"You get it like this from your filthy biker boy?" he grunted, fumbling with the belt of his jeans. "Dirty little bitch ..."

All Tasha heard was the crash. She had no real idea that the door had been kicked in by a heavy motorcycle boot. Or that the barrage of shots that rang out sent the Calaveras running from the room, shouting warnings to the others.

"Get your motherfucking hands OFF HER!" came the roar. Even as the man in front of her slumped wide-eyed to the ground. A bullet buried in his brain and his weight dragging her to the ground with him.

"Tasha!" Kozik managed, as he dashed to her side. Fearing the worst as he hauled the lifeless body off her and knelt in front of her. Horrified by the state she was in. "Tash, darlin', are you ... Did they ... Jesus, Tash, are you okay?"

"I ... I don't know ..." she whispered, an arm curled around her stomach. Fresh tears staining her cheeks, bloody grazes livid against her pale skin.

Exchanging an anguished look with his young wife-to-be as he noted her injuries and the state of her tattered clothing, Kozik took a deep breath and eased her gently to her feet and into his arms.

"I got ya now, baby," he murmured into her hair. "I got ya ..." Taking a few precious seconds to hold her to him and finding her mouth with his for an all too brief but desperate kiss. "Can you walk, darlin'? We gotta get you out of here ..."

Forcing herself to nod, she felt two strong arms around her, Happy appearing to help and both he and Kozik flanking her as they slowly headed for the landing of the stairs. But footsteps on the level directly above them had the trio halting in their tracks for a second. Ducking as a shot was fired.

Then Kozik was pulling his gun. "No matter what, man, you get her to a hospital ..."

"Koz!" Tasha gasped, eyes wide with horror as she realised what he was planning. But he and Happy obviously had already made an agreement and the former nomad swept her into his arms before she had time to move. "NO! Put me _down_!" she sobbed, struggling against his hold, weak as she was. "_Kozik!_"

Crying in earnest as fear for the father of her unborn baby threatened to overwhelm her, she was barely aware of Happy striding down the stairs. Reaching the front door as another volley of shots was heard. And then an explosion.

Everything was a blur. Sons racing inside. Guns drawn. Happy forced to set her on her feet, but putting himself between her and the now burning building. Holding her firmly even as she lashed out against him.

She could hear screaming. Took a second to realise it was coming from her.

Then nothing, just darkness.

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	15. fifteen

**fifteen.**

The thunderous look on the biker's face was enough to send most people parting like the Red Sea as he strode down the corridor with just one thought on his mind – getting out. Those not moving quick enough were simply shouldered aside, patients, doctors and visitors alike.

Happy hated hospitals, always had. They were too much of a reminder of his mom's health battles of recent years. And of his own immortality.

Guns and bullets he could handle though. Tears and having his brother's knocked up girl collapse in his arms were a whole other story, the whole thing proving to be one of those rare situations that left him feeling out of his depth. Not a feeling that sat well with him.

Reaching the parking lot, he fished in the pockets of his jeans for his cigarettes and a lighter. Sparking up and taking a long drag before letting his head tilt back on tense shoulders.

Every instinct in him had been to go after Kozik, back up the man who'd become more like a blood brother than a club one – strong as that connection alone was. But he'd given his word. Sworn he'd keep Tasha as safe as if she'd been his own old lady. Not that he had one of those in the first place.

**FLASHBACK**

"Shit!" Happy swore, his dark gaze shifting from the building where he knew one of his brothers was in trouble to the girl who'd passed out in his arms. "Fuckin' hell, doll, don't do this to me ..."

Under any kind of normal circumstances, he'd have palmed the babysitting duty off on one of the prospects in a heartbeat and headed straight to the action. Where he was really needed. His fingers itched for his knife or his glock, but instead he had his hands full with Kozik's old lady.

Shifting her weight in his arms, Happy growled in frustration and headed for the car Salazar had stolen, barking to Miles to follow him. The kid was supposed to be keeping watch in case any of the Calaveras made a break for it, but just looked damn close to petrified.

"But ..." the unfortunate prospect tried. He'd been given his orders, but if anyone had the power to over-ride them it was Happy. "Coming!"

Running to catch up, shooting fearful glances over his shoulder in case they were being followed, his eyes widened when he got a proper look at the woman in the nomad's care. "Is she … dead?" he mouthed the final word, eyes wide.

"No, she ain't fuckin' dead!" Happy snapped in exasperation. "You think I'd be haulin' a dead body around when the shit's hittin' the fan in there? You know how to hot-wire a car?"

"W-What?" Miles stammered, caught off-guard by the sudden shift in questioning. "Oh, uh, YES – yes, I do!" he declared eagerly, equal parts thrilled and relieved to finally be of some use. Especially under the black glare of the club's killer. "This one time in Vegas, there was this stripper and … You know what, never mind. Here, quick!"

Yanking open the rear passenger door of the Mercedes, he waited for Happy to slid inside. Inwardly raising an eyebrow at the care he took with his unexpected charge, shifting her so her head rested on his shoulder as comfortably as could be managed under the circumstances.

"Head for St Thomas," Happy instructed as Miles climbed in the driver's seat and ripped away the panel covering the wires he needed. "And fuckin' step on it!"

Feeling Tasha start to stir, the nomad looked down at her, his expression softening as he noted the anguish written all over her face. Even only semi-conscious, as she was.

"K-Koz ..." she whimpered.

Happy locked eyes with Miles in the rear-view mirror, the look almost daring the prospect to make something of it as he raised a hand and gently brushed a lock of hair back from her bruised cheek.

"Right here, babe," he managed, keeping his voice low and trying to make it less gravelly than usual. Feeling her relax in his arms and watching the eyelashes that had tried to open still.

She'd been through enough.

* * *

She had no idea that she'd been out of it for near enough twelve hours. Her head was foggy and she felt incredibly weak as her eyes blinked open and then closed again in pain. Everything flooding back to her and causing her chest to tighten so she could hardly breath. Panic setting in.

Her eyes opened again, just enough to make out a figure looming over her. She longed for the familiar face of the man she loved, instead got warm brown eyes that inadvertently sent her heart plummeting.

"Ay, I know you'd rather be looking into yer boy's baby blues, but easy, lass – you're gonna go givin' an aule man a complex ..."

But opening her eyes properly to see the kindly Scot leaning over her just filled Tasha with dread. Her mind flashing back to the last time they'd been like this. The tears an instinctive reaction, her hand fluttering to her stomach. Making her realise she was attached to an IV drip - even as the plea died on her lips, too scared to ask.

"No, lovie, don't look like that," Chibs soothed. "Your little 'un is doin' fine, all things considered. Given its mama's been through the wars. Shhh, now – I know you've been kippin' more than Piney, but you still need to get some rest."

"W-Where's … Koz?" she managed. And the biker gripped her hand tightly, doing what he could to comfort her. Inwardly cursing the god that would send the girl, who was little more than a kid to him, to hell and back. Again. Being in an MC had certainly proved over the years to be the surest way to test the faith drummed into him by a strict Catholic upbringing.

"Surgery," he said, after a pause. Ready for her when she tried to sit up. "No, no, no, pet – you need to stay put for now, you hear me? Someone's gonna come see you the second there's any news, I promise. Lie back, there's a good girl."

Watching over the young woman as she turned away in a futile attempt to hide the tears slipping down her cheeks, Chibs sighed and squeezed her fingers again. Years back, they'd all wondered how the pretty little teacher would fit in with club life - but she'd proved true to form for a SAMCRO old lady. Beautiful on the outside, in a way that had her man protective to a fault. And inside ... tough as one of Piney's oldest boots.

"But he was with me, he brought me here ..."

"No, sweetheart," Chibs shook his head with a confused frown. "Hap, he brought ya here – him and Miles."

"But I thought … How b-bad is he?"

"Gunshot wound to the chest, another to the thigh. Head injury. Broken wrist. Few burns and scrapes." The biker looked anywhere but at Tasha as he reeled off the list, trying to stay detached. But then softening brown eyes met hers and he leaned in, earnest in his bid to reassure her. "He's gonna get through this, Tash. He's a hell of a fighter and a stubborn bastard with it. And look what he's got to fight for – a girl he can be proud of, a wee bairn on the way ... Trust me, love, your man ain't goin' no-"

"Chibs, guy out here wants to see Tash," Miles interrupted, sticking his head around the door as he appeared to be struggling to hold someone back. Taking his Happy-appointed role as guard very seriously. "Says he's her father. Hey, you can't just-"

"Listen, that's my little girl in there – I suggest you get that damn hand off me if you want to keep it."

Chibs raised an eyebrow as the door opened all the way and a blonde guy with a beard, who looked around his age but was built like Opie, strode in. With worry clear in eyes just like Tasha's, there could be no doubting the two were related.

"Daddy ..." she managed, before her face crumpled and she simply dissolved into tears. Her father hurrying to her bedside to wrap her in his arms.

"It's okay, princess – I got ya now," Dan Callahan said, his voice rough with emotion at the thought of everything his only daughter had been through. "Jesus, Tash, what the hell's been happening? That man of yours swore to me he'd look after you, so where the hell is he? Someone called Happy called – not the chattiest fella though ..."

But feeling her shoulders shake as she cried quietly into his broad chest, he sighed and settled for holding her close, one large hand stroking her hair soothingly. He hadn't seen her this upset since ... Well, he didn't like to think about that. Once he'd managed to shut the idea of his baby girl having sex out of his head, he'd been looking forward to being called Pops and the only thing more devastating than the loss she and Kozik had suffered had been seeing it threaten to destroy them.

"You a friend of Kozik's?" Dan asked, glancing up at Chibs. The Scot watching discreetly from across the room, about to slip away to wait outside.

"Aye. Name's Chibs," the biker said.

"Dan Callahan – I'd say Tasha's dad, but I'm guessin' you got that. So where is that future son-in-law of mine then? Better be somethin' damn important keepin' him from his girl's hospital bedside ..."

"He'd be here if he could, man," Chibs said. "Kozik was ... he was shot – he's in surgery. But I was just tellin' the wee lass what a bloody fighter he is. That he's gonna pull through."

"I can't lose him, dad," Tasha choked out. "He has to be okay, he just has to! I have to go see him ..."

"Oh darlin'," Dan sighed, cupping her tearful face in his hands. "I'm sure Chibs here's right – you know Koz is one tough son of a bitch. And _he_ knows I'll kick his sorry ass if he breaks your heart."

Interrupted by a light knock on the door, they looked up to see a nurse glance into the room. "Ten minutes, Natasha – then we'll take you for your scan."

"Scan?" Dan frowned. "What kind of scan?"

"You weren't supposed to find out like this," Tasha said softly. "We were waiting until after the first twelve weeks before we told anyone ..."

"Fucking hell, princess! Really?" her dad exclaimed, catching on quickly. "And the baby's okay? After all this shit, the stress?"

"They think so," Chibs supplied, watching as one of the girl's hands went to her stomach anxiously. "Said they want to do a full scan to be on the safe side. Told 'em I was her uncle," he added, by way of explanation for how he came to be so in the know.

"I'm scared, dad," Tasha whispered. "I can't do this again and I can't do it on my own."

"Hey, come on – you're tougher than this, kid" Dan said sternly, his hand covering hers and squeezing her fingers gently. "And you know you're never gonna be on your own. You're gonna have Koz ... and me. All the way, darlin' – you _know_ that."

Managing a smile for him as he leaned over to press a kiss to her forehead, Tasha leaned back against her pillows, her hand holding her dad's. "Will you do something for me?"

"Of course – name it, sweetheart."

"Since I'm not allowed up yet, will you please go and see Koz?" Tasha asked desperately, seeing it plain on his face that he didn't want to leave her side. "Please, daddy – I need to know how he is and I hate thinking he's all alone. Apart from the guys, he doesn't have any other family … I mean, I know the club is family, but-"

"Okay, okay, I'll see what I can do," Dan relented. "But you make sure they don't take you for that scan until I get back, darlin'. I want to see that grandbaby of mine ..."

* * *

"Immediate family only, I'm afraid, sir," a nurse told him, as soon as he made enquiries as to where Kozik was.

"I _am_ family – I'm his father-in-law," Dan insisted, seeing it as only stretching the truth a little and turning a charming smile on the efficient young woman. "Listen, sweetheart, he ain't got no one but my daughter and you lot have her practically tied to a hospital bed of her own – so seein' as she's his next-of-kin and I'm hers ... surely there's no harm in joinin' up the dots? You wouldn't want him thinking no one cares, now would you?"

Obviously softening as she glanced over her shoulder towards her handsome patient's room, she shook her head with a sigh. "I guess not. And like you said, you _are_ family … This way. But only for a few minutes."

"You got it," he grinned. He still had it.

But the smile faded from his face as he sat down by the biker's bed and ran a hand over his beard, knowing Tasha would be distraught to see him hurt so bad.

"Damn, son, look at this mess ..." he sighed. "You need to get your ass up offa that bed and take care of my little girl – she needs you. You gonna knock her up and then check out on her, huh? 'Cause I thought we had that talk ..."

His head in his hands, Dan realised all his worst fears about his daughter being mixed up with that damn club were being realised - and this was one time he'd have given anything not to be right.

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	16. sixteen

**A/N: Apologies once again - my internet connection appears to have imploded, to my endless irritation. Updates on this and Ink when I can - thanks so much for sticking with them!**

**sixteen.**

Having spent longer than he meant to by his future son-in-law's bedside, Dan was just thinking he should get back to Tasha when he heard the door of the private room open and turned to see his daughter standing there. Wrapped in a hospital-issue robe, much too pale and tearful for his liking and with one trembling hand going to her mouth when she saw the extent of Kozik's injuries.

"Darlin', you really shouldn't be up just yet ..." he tried, getting up to go to her. Relenting when he realised she was every bit as distraught as he'd expected her to be. "I know it's scary, princess, but all this stuff's just to help him. You know that. Come on - come sit with him for a little bit."

Letting her father guide her to the seat he'd just vacated, Tasha sat down and tentatively reached for Kozik's uninjured hand, taking it in both of hers. "He's in pain," she managed softly, worry lining her face.

He didn't insult her intelligence by lying. "Be more worried if he wasn't," Dan shrugged heavily. "He was injured pretty bad, Tash – and if you can come through that without feelin' it ... Gotta be a sign something's really wrong."

He had no idea if there was any medical truth in that, but it seemed logical to him and if Tasha wasn't buying it, she didn't say so. Instead simply caressing Kozik's fingers with the utmost tenderness, brushing them with soft kisses.

"I'll give you some space," her dad said gruffly, feeling like he was intruding on the couple. "I'm outside if you need me."

Though she nodded to show she'd heard, Tasha's attention never left Kozik. Touching a hand to his cheek and leaning down to press her lips to his forehead. "I'm here, baby. I'm right here ..." she whispered, sliding her fingertips through his hair. "You gotta get better for me, Koz – I need you. And our baby needs its daddy. Oh god, Koz, please ... I can't lose you."

Tears starting to spill down her cheeks as she thought of everything they'd already been through, the little blonde couldn't hold back a sob – she wanted to be strong for her man. Stay positive. But just the thought of not having him in her life made it hard to breathe.

* * *

Stepping outside Kozik's room, Dan tilted his head back on his shoulders with a groan. He could really do with a stiff drink right about now. That or a shotgun to go after whoever had brought such heartache to his little girl's door. Again.

"Coffee? You look like you could do with one ..."

Looking round at the sound of the assured voice, he raised an eyebrow but took the styrofoam cup of coffee held out to him in one immaculately manicured hand.

"Can even Irish it up for ya."

At the woman's nod, he took a seat beside her on one of the less than comfortable chairs forming a short row along the wall of the hallway. Held out his cup for a splash of the contents of a tiny silver hipflask she produced from her purse.

"Gemma," she informed him.

"Dan. You're the president's wife, right? How's your son's girl? Heard she was taken with Tasha."

"Pretty shook up, but back where she belongs. She was discharged this morning – wanted to come and see your daughter, but Jax is making her rest up for a bit."

"How come you're still here?"

Favouring him with a long searching look, Gemma sipped her coffee. "The club looks after its own."

"Guess that's fair – given the trouble it brings them ..." Dan said coolly, before shaking his head with a sigh. "Sorry. It's just damn hard to see my little girl hurting so bad all over again. Can you blame me for wanting an easy life for her?"

"Shit happens," the SAMCRO queen shrugged. "In or out of an MC. Some safe suit with a desk job might be easier, but you really think he'd make her happier than Kozik?"

"Look, Gemma, I get that you're protective of the club and hell, I _like_ Koz. My Tasha's a good girl and she's not stupid, so if she can love him the way she does ... that's good enough for me. He's family. But if you ask me if he's what I'd have chosen for her, then no. I gotta admit he's not. Put yourself in my place – what if she was your girl?"

Pursing her lips, Gemma tilted her head on one side as she regarded him thoughtfully. "Dan, I married not one outlaw, but two - if she was my kid, the club would be in her blood. And she'd probably just have ended up in his bed a lot sooner.

"Look, there are plenty of girls Koz could have settled for – girls who know the life, how it works. Could have made things easy for himself – and instead he went chasing after your daughter. Because our big bad sergeant fell in love. He'd die for that girl. Damn near did."

"I ain't questioning that he loves her – I know he does," Dan insisted. "I just wish neither of them had to consider dying for anyone. That they could just be together, have a mess of little blonde babies and be _happy_. It ain't too much to ask, surely?"

Gemma said nothing. Simply sipped her coffee again. But they both knew in an MC world, that was a very big ask indeed.

* * *

All she wanted was her man to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

He was always so good at that – even when he was lost for the right thing to say, he could always wrap her up in those strong arms. Make her feel safe and loved. But now she didn't even have that.

Dashing the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand, Tasha paused for a moment and then shifted onto the edge of the bed. Being careful not to jostle Kozik as she curled up by his side, one hand resting gently on his chest.

Her engagement ring sparkling under the harsh fluorescent hospital lights.

"I love you," she whispered, trying not to break down again.

But with everything that had happened finally catching up with her fully, the pregnant young woman was just too exhausted to cry. Her eyes drifting closed even as she tried to stop them. Sleep washing over her as she lay next to Kozik.

An all-too brief respite from the nightmares haunting her while she was awake.

* * *

Yet another sight he wished he'd never had to see, but one that would be permanently etched in his mind. Banished to its darkest corners, where he was rapidly running out of room for such unwanted memories.

The girl he loved more than anything, his baby growing inside her, pinned to a wall ... covered in blood ... her attacker's intentions all too clear. He knew she needed him. Nothing else mattered.

Not the bullets whizzing through the air. In that moment, not even his brothers behind him.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Hap, man, I need a favour and it's a pretty big ask ..."

Sitting on his bike, Happy froze in the middle of pulling on his black leather gloves. His helmet still swinging from the handlebars, but his shades on. Hiding the look in his dark eyes. But the pause was only for a second before he continued with what he was doing. Not looking up at his long-time friend. "Oh yeah?"

"It's ... about Tash," Kozik said slowly. "And how this shit might go down."

Happy sighed, having seen this one coming the minute the blonde approached him looking like the weight of the world was pressing down on his shoulders. "Don't put this on me, man. Anythin' else and you know I got your back, but not this. I ain't that guy."

"Come on, bro – who else do I go to? Tig?" the blonde scoffed, raking a hand through his hair. Trying and failing to hide the desperation on his face and in his voice.

"Look, Koz, you gotta get your head in the fucking game," Happy told him sternly, taking off his shades. "I ain't sayin' it's easy, but you start talking like you're just givin' me your girl ... your _kid_ ... and it don't sound like you're goin' in there set on comin' back. Tash heard you now, she'd kick your dumb ass – and I might just help her."

That stopped Kozik in his tracks, but he still shook his head. "It ain't even like that, Hap. Trust me - if this goes bad and you start pushin' up on my girl, I'm gonna haunt your ass forever, dude. It's just ... you know what I gotta do here. And I can't do it if I'm worrying about Tash. All I'm asking is instead of having my back, you have hers – get her the hell outta there, keep her safe."

"And if shit really does go bad?"

Kozik pushed a scrap of paper into his brother's gloved hand, watching as he unfolded it and frowned at the number scrawled there. "If I can't ... Just call that number, talk to Dan. Get her to him or get him here."

"And who the hell's Dan when he's home?"

"Her dad."

* * *

He wasn't aware of anything but the pain. A never-ending burning that seemed to sear right through him and did nothing for the pounding in his head. But more importantly, he had no idea where the bastard who'd shot him had disappeared.

Could only pray he hadn't gone after Tasha as an easier target. Hoping Happy had been as good as his word and gotten her out of there, even if he could have done with his help himself. His fingers scrambling for a gun he couldn't find ...

"Take it easy, Koz ... Come on, man – you're in hospital ..."

Too-bright lights filled his vision, blinding him even as his eyes tried to struggle open. Shifting from side to side in an unsuccessful bid to get up.

"T-Tash?"

"I know she got my eyes, but start tellin' me I look like a girl and you and me are gonna have a problem, son," came the wry response. "Hey, you stay put while I get that doc back in here. Kozik, seriously, buddy ..."

"I ... I gotta find her. They took her, I gotta _find_ her – she's all I got!" he mumbled, strangely aware his words were slurring together but unable to do anything to correct it.

"You found her," Dan told him firmly. "Listen to me, Koz – you found her. Tasha's here and she's safe. Worried sick about you, but safe. The baby too."

"D-Dan?" Kozik managed, biting back a groan of pain. Collapsing back down the few inches he'd managed to raise himself off the pillows, his eyes closing again. Only just seeing his unexpected visitor pushed aside by doctors before his eyes closed again.

She was safe. His girl, his family. Nothing else mattered.

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	17. seventeen

**A/N: Sorry for the double post - just a few minor edits. Anyway, this is it - a little sooner than expected, but I'm finally calling time on Koz and Tasha's journey. **

**I'm going to turn my attention in earnest now to Ink. Although, unlike you lucky people in the US, I've still got quite the wait for Season 4 - so maybe ****I'll have to indulge in another little project to distract me, if the inspiration hits.** Maybe some one-shots or something I can finish up in just three or four parts - those never work out quite like that for me though. Most things tend to turn into sprawling epics, with sequels and off-shoots everywhere lol!

**Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading this series though and stuck with it since it all started out with Casting Shadows. I've grown so attached to these two, but I think the time's right to let them go - although, that said, I do hope to finish up Sparks as I hate to leave anything hanging. **

**For now though, we've jumped six months since the last chapter - but this does start with a flashback. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**seventeen.**

_**FLASHBACK**_

"You need a man to take care of you – not some fucking has-been with a crocked ... everything!"

"Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?" Tasha demanded, finally running out of patience and rounding on her future husband after the outburst he'd all but spat. "Seriously, Kozik, you're in real danger of turning into a whiny little _bitch_!"

Shocked out of his sulk, he stared at her wide-eyed with disbelief. "Did you ... did you just call me a bitch?"

And with that, she started to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

"I can't believe you called me a bitch!" he muttered. But he had the good grace to look embarrassed by his earlier hissy-fit.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry," Tasha sighed, trying to wipe the smile off her face. "But honestly, you have been getting kinda hard to deal with lately. Talk to me – I thought your physio was going well? Steve said ..."

"Oh well, if _Steve_ said ..." Kozik groused under his breath.

"Come on, sweetie ..." Tasha coaxed, sitting down on the couch beside him and lifting his still cast-covered arm so she could slip under it. "Is this okay? I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"As if a little thing like you is gonna hurt me," he scoffed, but she could instantly see he was all wounded pride and bruised ego and didn't know why it hadn't occurred to her before.

"Of course not," she nodded, laying her head on his shoulder. One hand resting gently on his broad t-shirt covered chest. "Just checking 'cause I'm kinda tired – I haven't been able to get comfy lately, but this is really nice ..."

Looking down at his pregnant girl in sudden concern, Kozik's grumpy expression softened. She looked exhausted and, combing his fingers through her hair, he swore to himself he'd let her stay there all night if it helped.

"Sorry I'm a moody fucker ..." he said, his tone gruff as he grazed his lips against her forehead. "I shouldn't take this shit out on you. I dunno why you put up with me sometimes ..."

"Because this baby needs a daddy and that's only ever gonna be you," Tasha said softly, taking his hand and guiding it to the swell of her stomach. "Plus, you are _so_ not doing me out of a wedding now ..."

"Minx ..." Kozik growled, but even he had to laugh at her playful teasing. The apology a proper one this time, as his hand rubbed softly on her ever-expanding bump. "I really am sorry, babe – I promise I'll try to be good-"

"Aww, but I like you better when you're bad ..." she pouted. A twinkle in her eye as she cuddled up to him, pressing soft kisses along his stubbled jaw.

"Damn, girl, you need to cut that shit right out 'til I'm in some kinda shape to do something about it – or else you're gonna be helpin' me take a hell of a lot of cold showers," he groaned.

"If that's not incentive to work harder with Steve, I dunno what it," Tasha grinned, trailing off when she saw his face fall. "What is your problem? Is Steve pushing you too hard?" she demanded, inadvertently pissing him off even more.

"Hell no!" Kozik glared. "I can handle whatever that little shit wants to throw at me, okay?"

"Oh, Koz ..." she sighed, starting to get where this was coming from. "Steve's just trying to help, you know that."

"The prick don't know jack, I know _that_. And I've seen how he looks at you."

"At _me_? Are you crazy? He doesn't look at me at all!" Tasha laughed.

"You're too trusting to see it," Kozik told her. "Seriously, if I hadn't told him my trigger-finger still works, he'd be all over you like a fucking rash."

"Woah, woah, woah – let me get this straight," Tasha shook her head in disbelief. "You threatened to shoot your physiotherapist?"

"Damn straight. I ain't havin' some pretty-boy jerkwad thinkin' I'm just gonna clear the way for him."

"You didn't stop to think where I might figure in all of this? Dammit, Kozik, how hard did you hit your head?" she groaned. "You really think after everything we've been through together that I'm gonna do a runner with Steve?"

He shrugged, starting to feel a little foolish.

"I might be younger than you, but give me some credit – I'm not some teenage bimbo looking for a ... a ... _Steve_," she told him. "He's twenty if he's a day and he keeps his brains in his biceps ..."

"And I'm forty and can't make it up the fucking stairs," Kozik muttered gloomily.

"And I, you complete idiot, am thirty and not in the market for a boytoy," Tasha smiled, cupping his handsome but grumpy face in her hands. "Oh, and then there's that small matter of being _completely_ in love with you and being six months pregnant with _your _baby! Come on, Koz – before this, you were in better shape than guys half your age and you will be again. I'm not gonna put you out to pasture just yet, so don't go all mid-life crisis on me ..."

* * *

Laying back against the plump white pillows, it was hard to believe that had only been three months ago – and that three months prior they'd both still been in hospital, in the wake of that showdown with the Calaveras. But the real battle had only started after that. A long, hard fight to get Kozik back to fitness. Back on his bike and down the aisle.

And all while she was carrying his child. The baby that now, at last, lay sleeping safe and sound in her father's arms ...

Carefully cradling his baby daughter in the crook of one arm, Kozik touched a fingertip to her tiny nose in wonder. "Hey, princess – I'm your daddy." Dashing his hand across his eyes as he gazed down at the precious little bundle. Awed by how much something so small could change his life so completely.

"I saw that, tough guy."

Locking eyes with his exhausted but smiling wife, Kozik crossed the room to lay their baby in her arms and press kiss after tender kiss to her lips. "So I love my gorgeous girls, I don't care who knows it," he said, sitting down on the edge of her bed with an easy shrug. "You're incredible, darlin'... I'm so damn proud of you."

Tasha blinked back tears as she cuddled her daughter close, kissing her delicate fingers and caressing the soft blonde down of her hair. "She's beautiful, Koz," she whispered, leaning against him. "Absolutely beautiful."

"Course she is," he grinned, wrapping an arm around her. "Look at her mom and dad ..."

* * *

_**EPILOGUE**_

Much as he'd appreciated checking back in with Tacoma, catching up with Deacon and the others, Charming had never looked so good ... Not since the last time he'd returned from a run anyway.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!"

If one thing always made leaving bearable, it was definitely the welcome he got on his return.

Spotting her father even as he parked his bike with some of her surrogate uncles, six-year-old Lily squealed excitedly and took off across the yard from where she'd been watching like a hawk knowing he had been due any time soon.

Barrelling full tilt towards Kozik, she reached him right as he dropped to his knees - just in time to catch the little girl in his arms and hold her tight. His eyes closed as he cradled her to his chest and dropped kisses on her silky blonde hair.

"Daddy missed you, baby girl," he whispered, giving her another little squeeze before he made her giggle by blowing a loud raspberry on her cheek. "Where's mommy?" But before she could answer, he'd already looked up and spotted her mother watching with a soft smile on her face. Their young son in her arms.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself, gorgeous," he smiled, shifting their daughter into the crook of one arm as he straightened up and headed towards his wife. Loving the sight of her, heavily pregnant as she was with their third baby. Third and last, she'd warned – but he was pretty sure he could talk her round ...

"Give mommy kisses," Lily ordered him, one little hand patting his cheek and making the blonde biker laugh.

"You heard the little lady - pucker up, babe," Kozik grinned, planting his lips on Tasha's in a playful smack. "Now, how's my main man? Hey, buddy." Setting his daughter down and smiling as she grabbed a handful of the leg of his jeans, obviously determined not to let him disappear again, before reaching to take his fourteen-month-old baby boy.

Tasha's heart just about melted as she watched him cuddle their little boy, shifting seamlessly from the tough sergeant his brothers needed to every inch the loving father he was to their kids – Leo babbling excitedly to his daddy, a cute little mini version of him with that unruly tuft of blonde hair and big blue eyes, and Lily beaming up at them both ...

Her family. His reason to come home. Their light in the darkness.

* * *

**END.**


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